From individual to team to individual to leader

It's difficult to find time to write about one's life when it is passing by in a whirlwind. But the faster life moves the more important it becomes to hold on to those rails of steadfastness which we have created around ourselves.

Keeping in mind what is important and what is permanent. Looking up and around for what should be different and where change should lie. To find direction. Just because we are going at 100 miles per hour doesn't mean we are going in the right direction. And if it's not the right direction, then surely we are moving away from our target, right?

To quote Yogi Berra: We are lost, but we're making good time.

Within my new role, our new team had our first common objective. Deliver an amazing national conference which was going to represent a milestone and a point of change for our organization. We were going to bring the organization back to its basics, get the members enthusiastic about changing peoples live on a daily basis through exchange and leadership.

At the same time we ourselves were about to commence our journey towards building a team. What kind of team? With some experience of being part of a leadership body on one level, I was sure looking forward to starting "all over again". How confident we are, with hindsight, that given the chance to remake all of our choices, we would not make the same mistakes again?

And how blisfully we ignore our incompetence of choice and direction, our inability to predict the consequences of our actions, even after it has been made abundantly clear to us that we do not possess that sort of ability.

We this in mind (or not!) our team was going to be build right. It was going to be built from the start. We have great individuals, we see a common direction and purpose, we are dedicated and passionate and we actually like eachother!!

Yet here we were, only a few days after getting to know eachother, already unsure about eachothers roles, already probing and testing one another, and already concerned about our working together! WOW. I must say it is a truly humbling experience for me. It is actually what makes the concept of a team so exciting. It is hard. Damn hard. If it wasn't, what would be the point or the challenge?

I think we are on the right track though. I think we are starting to see the contours of a team which is ready to perform together, for one another, towards a common goal and purpose and having a great time doing so.

The conference was a great success. The changes we can see in the organization, in the attitudes, in the way people are talking are noticeable. Hey, who knows whether that has anything to do with us at all, but seeing as nobody else is going to take credit I most definitely am. In order to keep believing in the directon one is leading towards, one is absolutely dependent on telling oneself that one is getting somewhere. Sometimes that is tangible, but most of the time I guess it's not. Management is easy to measure - but leadership and the effects of it isn't.

Zip. Point. Finito.

Teambuilding over. Conference over. Members spread back to their old roles, to their old teams, to their old responsibilities. I am spread back to my local reality. And our local joys and pains.

I am probably the person pushing the hardest for delivering a hardcore, kickass transition in order to help our new leadership team "avoid all the pitfalls that we stumbled into". Off course, I know this isn't possible. Some hardships every person has to go through for themselves. But some things can be learned from others experience also - surely. If not, where would humankind be today? Surely not blogging on computers...

So irony has it, that I have to cancel on my new and old EB team when it came to EB to EB transition weekend. Everyone else went. I didn't. Bloody part-timer! Actually people in my family were turning ill and so was I, so I chose to take care of those close to me. Right choice? Probably. Hard choice for me? Definitely.

So I am leading, I am committed, but when it comes down to some execution I am unable due to some circumstances. Does that make the effort pointless? Or was my pushing for the weekend instrumental in it happening despite my non-attendance? Who knows.

Easter.

LX: L+X:

Leading by example. Leadership+Exchange. I keep writing this on my hand, I keep telling myself this, and it is the one concept which I truly and really do believe in when it comes to leadership. I must be the example for myself. Only that is leadership. Only then am I leading myself.

Yet, when does it end? Where does it start? Do you become the role or does the role become you? Are you a leader all the time? What about your personal life? What about in the toilet when you are singing to yourself? What about that morning when you can't even lead yourself out of bed? What about that bad joke you let slip, which you didn't really mean? What about not working out when you should? What about those problems with your mother? How about those clothes you are wearing? Where does it start? Where does it end?

This month I am coming to the end of my 4 month personal development plan. I have conciously tried to develop more awareness of others around me and better incoming communication skills. I believe I have succeeded, but not entirely. These are definitely not off the chart, but I am putting them in second line for now, to see whether effects there are permanent when I take away some conciousness.

This week I will make 3 important choices:

1. How can I be flexible enough to take on the role I am being asked to?

2. Which areas of personal development should I focus on next?

3. In which ways can I create a learning environment for myself that fosters this development?

Romania

Sunday a little over two weeks ago I left Norway for Romania.

I was extremely excited as I had never at all been to eastern Europe before. I went to Prague once when I was around 14 with my dad, but that doesn't really count. One of the many simple things I have understood about myself since joining AIESEC, it's that I haven't really travelled much at all. I used to think I had seen alot of the world and was a well aware of cultural differences, languages etc.

Then I realised I had never really ventured outside the "western" world, which made me realise I had been fooling myself. Sure, I have lived in the US, UK, Italy and Norway. Sure I speak Enlighs, German, French, Italian and Norwegian. Sure, I have been on week-long holidays to Egypt and Singapore.

But what am I left with? Pretty much a narrow world-view without perspective, without understanding the larger implications of a world growing at an ever faster pace. But what is happening outside my own little bubble? When am I going to get a more holistic and real understanding which corresponds closer to how people work and cultures interact?

Romania

It's a first step at least. And I was not going on holiday - I was going on a conference. Now, I am not going to claim that I somehow in a few days, where I was mostly interacting with AIESECers from different parts of the world in a hotel, I got a deeper understanding of Romania, of eastern Europe or of anything else. But, hey, it's a start, right?

Moving around Bucharest on the very first day I must admit I was surprised. Firstly, I don't think I actually realised how deep-rooted the Soviet style construction heritage was still stuck, almost 20 years after the revolution. Secondly, clearly the image I had of Romania and Romanians is fucked up by the society I live in. I was positively surprised, pretty much by everything.

What impressed me the most was young Romanian students I met. In addition to the AIESECers, who I assumed would be pretty ambitous talented and capable, I was strongly impressed by the general attitude of the young people I came across. The go get them attitude, the positive curiosity about the world around them, and the pointed questions they asked struck me as far more proactive than what I am used to from Norway.

I guess that's what happens when a society wakes up and realizes it wants to go somewhere - fast.

I liked it alot.

Quite a cool experience, though perhaps fairly simple, was Romanian money. All notes are made out of plastic, which make them more or less impossible to tear apart, and give them a very special feeling when you are holding them. I found it very, very funny.

Bucharest is a huge city. Driving around mostly by bus, and sometimes by metro, I kept getting lost, not really understanding where we were. As every other tourist, I too had to visit the houses of parliament, that crazy building (second biggest in the world apparently) built by Ceaucescu while the Romanian people were starving. I wonder how that happens. I clearly don't know enough about Romanian history to go into the details in any way, but what happened to leadership? What happened to values and actually leading according to a given set of moral parameters? How can we as a world avoid this from happening?

As I mentioned above I was in Romania for a conference, more specifically EURO XPRO, the conference for future LCPs (Local Committee Presidents) and MCVPs (National Committee vice presidents) in AIESEC in the CEE (Central and Eastern Europe) and WENA (Western Europe and North America) regions. Pretty much most of the leadership body of these two regions for the next year.

As always, AIESECers impress me. I still cannot pinpoint what it is about this organization that makes it the hub for reflected, ambitous, funloving, serious and exciting young people - but there is no doubt in my mind that it is. No other setting that I have seen or experienced is even close to this. I feel very, very privileged.

Anyway. The opening day, which was monday, had three main events.

The first was a visit to the Romanian royal family, who were chased when the Communist Revolution came after the second world war. We had the privilege og meeting Prince Radu, who spent some time speaking to us about the future generations of Romania and the world. It was a once in a lifetime experience.

The second was Global Village, which was in the centre of Bucharest with hundreds if not thousands of people visiting all of our different countrystands, traditional dances and country shouts and performances. Really awesome experience, although perhaps six hours was slightly too long. :-)

After that, quick changing and and running back and forth, the third event came along, which was the official opening ceremony that evening. Not everyone seemed to enjoy it - but I have no idea why. I really liked it. It showcased dancing and singing performances, some very inspiring speeches and last not least a real feeling of opening.

The speech I enjoyed the most was about the inherent conflict between wanting to learn today to make an impact in the future, and the impact we are doing today. The real question is whether you learn enough to even have an impact in a distant tomorrow, if you don't genuinely try to have an impact today?

The next day there was another event where AIESEC was interacting with the external world through a forum called World Cafe. It gave us the chance of discussing some world issues with bright young Romanian students. It really opened my eyes.

The rest of the conference, from Tuesday afternoon to sunday, was "AIESEC only". We went by bus to Mangalia, which is around 4,5 hours from Bucharest on the coast of the black sea. The first evening of the conference was mostly dedicated to getting to know eachother, connecting abit and finding out about everyone else. It also set the stage for the 4 days of intensive learning ahead of us from that point.

Now, I am not going to go into any dreadfully boring details about what happened on the next four days. Suffice to say it was another shock to my system. Another challenging and intesive experience which opened my eyes even further. I wonder when this feeling of continously feeling helplessly knowledgeless will eventually subside? When will I stop being surprised and excited about that wonderful world out there? I hope never.

My favourite moment of the conference was making this video with some new friends I met:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=heiIQC-eAHQ

It was absolutely awesome. We were simply given half an hour to describe the state of the world today and we decided that the world we are seeing is a beautiful one full of differences and potential, but also full of love and similarities. You be the judge :-)

I also got to know some very special people along the way. If you are reading this you know who you are. You are changing me and I love you for it.

On the sunday after it was time to go back to Norway. I have understood a few things about myself. First of all I want to get to know Romania alot better, along with the rest of eastern Europe. Secondly, the world out there is scaring me a little bit. Actually, no. Alot. What awaits me?

The only way of finding out is to keep living life to the fullest.