- actually was open
- had Internet
- had a computer working
- had electricity
- had opening for my pendrive
Choices:
How we make our choices has always interested me, and the last two days I was brutally exposed to my own decisionmaking. Sometimes choices are easy, but sometimes they are the hardest thing in the world. Running for MCP has been one of those choices for me. I knew all along I wanted the experience, but at the same time I was doubting about so many things.
In the morning of Christmas day, 25th of December, I was walking around in Mombasa with my girlfriend. All of a sudden I decided - "No. I am not applying". The decision felt certain, and at that moment right. I found an Internet cafe and sent a short email to my amazing MCP, who always supports me in everything I do, as I had promised him I would tell him when I (finally) decided.
Good. Done. Finito. Bravo!
No. You know the feeling of knowing a choice was wrong after only you had made it? Only a few minutes after stepping out of the Internet Cafe my mind was doubting. And an hour later I felt like I had just made the stupidest mistake of my whole life. NOOOOOOO! Of course I want to apply. It's the most amazing opportunity I will probably EVER have, and it's working for a cause I believe in with my whole heart - AIESEC Norway! What could be better?
But I had "made my decision". That night, I felt like crap. I ended up staying up, changing my whole application, living it, feeling it, imagining it - seeing the year as MCP of AIESEC Norway in my head. And I was loving it. Every minute of it.
So yesterday, on the bus to Lamu (if you ever get the "chance" to take the bus from Mombasa to Lamu, think carefully about how much you enjoy a "bumby ride" before you book - but Lamu is amazing!) I was thinking the whole day. For 8 hours during that transport it became clear to me.
I sent the application last night, and it all feels so right. I am calm (and hellish nervous!) and proud of myself. And I laugh at decisionmaking in generally and this process for me. Months of agonizing, pro's and con's, advice and non-advice (Mum!!!) and simply no decision.
Only when i had decided against did I know I should decide for. And where will the path take me? Well, first of all to Achieve in a couple of weeks time!
Now: Do you want an Exchange Revolution in AIESEC Norway?