I came to Rotterdam , to be Vice President of Finance of AIESEC International on the 1st of May 2011. That is now 17.5 months ago - and age and a half in AIESEC lingo - where most positions only last 12 months.
Since then I have found it difficult to talk and write about my experiences and my learning. In fact I have found it difficult to write about my path to leadership. I realized this morning why that is.
During this time I haven't always been on that path. Perhaps I strayed other places on the way, into the woods and territory which I didn't want to talk about. At least that is how I have felt. Leadership, to me, is a set of values and a set direction and the commitment, courage and ability to follow that path. Hence, it is always a path.
For many reasons, the period in Rotterdam has not always been that to me.
It's interesting, because I think that if I evaluate my own professional performance it has been good. I have been in the executive leadership body of the world's largest student run organization, with a stated impact of providing a platform for young people to explore and develop their leadership potential. But what happens when I am no longer exploring and developing mine? Or more accurately - when I do not feel that I am doing that?
Well, then it becomes difficult to talk about it - to write about - to share about it. Instead I have focused on execution. Execution of my job, my role, my tasks. Doing stuff - to ensure that the organization is healthy and running well. I am proud of that. I stand by that.
But that is not enough.
I cannot explain exactly what happened to me, in this sense, but it affected a number of arenas, as things always do. My long term relationship ended, my family became more distant again, and my ability to be the best leader I can be diminished. I have spent a lot of time and efforts understanding myself in this period. How can I suddenly become something I do not want to be? What triggers this? What can I do about it.
Why am I writing again now - so openly and clearly?
I am clear in my mind, my heart, my head. I am back on the path. In my second year on AIESEC International, I have again rediscovered the true me. That doesn't mean not making mistakes - but it means having the right direction and values.
Yesterday we reviewed the first quarter of AIESEC International, from July through September. I feel, and I think the team feels, extremely proud of the first quarter. I believe our direction is the right one for this organization. I believe our strategies are the right ones. And I believe we have succeeded so far. Of course there are things we need to adjust and improve. There are some aspects that are working better than others.
But it's empowering - to be part of such a team, so many leaders who carry this organization on their shoulders. It gives me energy - it gives me pride.
Today, a Saturday, I woke up at 08.15, with a clear mind and enthusiasm. This despite working long hours for many months, not least this last week. I have energy and I am happy. For anyone who knows me in the morning, this must come as a shock - so I guess you can imagine.
I am back on my path to leadership. And I hope to be able to write about.
Thank you for your patience.
Since then I have found it difficult to talk and write about my experiences and my learning. In fact I have found it difficult to write about my path to leadership. I realized this morning why that is.
During this time I haven't always been on that path. Perhaps I strayed other places on the way, into the woods and territory which I didn't want to talk about. At least that is how I have felt. Leadership, to me, is a set of values and a set direction and the commitment, courage and ability to follow that path. Hence, it is always a path.
For many reasons, the period in Rotterdam has not always been that to me.
It's interesting, because I think that if I evaluate my own professional performance it has been good. I have been in the executive leadership body of the world's largest student run organization, with a stated impact of providing a platform for young people to explore and develop their leadership potential. But what happens when I am no longer exploring and developing mine? Or more accurately - when I do not feel that I am doing that?
Well, then it becomes difficult to talk about it - to write about - to share about it. Instead I have focused on execution. Execution of my job, my role, my tasks. Doing stuff - to ensure that the organization is healthy and running well. I am proud of that. I stand by that.
But that is not enough.
I cannot explain exactly what happened to me, in this sense, but it affected a number of arenas, as things always do. My long term relationship ended, my family became more distant again, and my ability to be the best leader I can be diminished. I have spent a lot of time and efforts understanding myself in this period. How can I suddenly become something I do not want to be? What triggers this? What can I do about it.
Why am I writing again now - so openly and clearly?
I am clear in my mind, my heart, my head. I am back on the path. In my second year on AIESEC International, I have again rediscovered the true me. That doesn't mean not making mistakes - but it means having the right direction and values.
Yesterday we reviewed the first quarter of AIESEC International, from July through September. I feel, and I think the team feels, extremely proud of the first quarter. I believe our direction is the right one for this organization. I believe our strategies are the right ones. And I believe we have succeeded so far. Of course there are things we need to adjust and improve. There are some aspects that are working better than others.
But it's empowering - to be part of such a team, so many leaders who carry this organization on their shoulders. It gives me energy - it gives me pride.
Today, a Saturday, I woke up at 08.15, with a clear mind and enthusiasm. This despite working long hours for many months, not least this last week. I have energy and I am happy. For anyone who knows me in the morning, this must come as a shock - so I guess you can imagine.
I am back on my path to leadership. And I hope to be able to write about.
Thank you for your patience.
Good leaders need good insight. Which you have tons of. Keep on going! Looking forward to another coffee whenever you're in town.
ReplyDelete- Camilla