Team

It is sunday evening, and I have barely slept for the last week. I am sitting on my sofa and in a not too long it will hit me how tired I should be.

But I can't really feel it right now. Right now I feel empowered in a way that I cannot remember ever having been empowered. What a feeling to be part of a team where people give everything and stretch themselves beyond what you would ever expect to deliver on a plan, on a goal on a vision.

We had Local Seminar this weekend. My team has spent so much time in order to get this weekend JUST RIGHT. All of them were holding sessions (brilliantly might I add). All of them were stepping up and taking responsibility not only for themselves - but for others. Not because I told them to, not because they were required to. They just did it.

I am proud. Really, really proud. I am proud of our team and what we are doing. I think I am starting to learn some really invaluable lessons when it comes to leading a team. Direction and vision - quite simply common PURPOSE - is a drop of magic that empowers people to go beyond themselves, to support one another, standing shoulder to shoulder to carry on towards a common direction.

I was getting tearful today when I was trying to tell them how I felt. I almost couldn't even finish the sentence, as I was close to having tears of pride and joy running down my cheeks. It really feels like we are becoming a great team now. It really feels like we are going places where I have never been before in my life.

What amazing feeling - and what a dangerous feeling... All of a sudden one raises ones eyes and sees that sky's the limit. Never-ending opportunities, never-ending goals that one could reach out and grab if one wants to. Who's going to stop you? Who is going to tell you that it cannot be done?

There are no limits to what can be done. I am never ever going to let anyone tell me that something is too ambitious, that something cannot be done, that something is too much. The limits we see are limits we set for ourselves in our mind. In some absurd attempt to shield our mind off from the thoughts, feelings, creativity, imagination, dreams, hopes and wishes that we actually have. That we actually see clearly in front of us when we are sleeping late at night, when we are reflecting upon our own reality, future and ideas.

Why do we limit ourselves to this degree? I do not know.

Perhaps team is the solution? That feeling of being a part of something larger, where one dares to unfold oneself, and push oneself? Perhaps here the limits can be erased?

I am honoured to have a team to lead like the one I have. They are more than patient with me, always willing to support me and listen to me, even in my most crazy moments. They give me an energy and and a joy which I cannot describe. Thank you.

Where do we push on from here? We will see tomorrow!

Looking foward to travelling again

Been back in Oslo since the 12th of January now. That means three weeks tomorrow. It might not seem so much, but to me it's too much. I become restless when I stay in one place for too long. I start getting bored with myself, my surroundings, well basically anything.

Last fall I didn't travel at all from when I came back from Malta in the middle of november until the end of december. By the end of it I was desperate. I was stressed, people were being stressed by me, and I was certainly not a particularly happy company. Then I went away, first to Sweden and Germany, then to Trondheim. Now I am good.

Now I have been in Oslo for three weeks, and they have indeed been wonderful weeks. Not that everything always goes well, or one is always happy with everything. But I am happy. That is, I feel well. So even when things are going hayway around me, I remain calm. I am, somehow, at peace with myself.

If I am good with myself I am usually good with those around me too. I am usually able to help people, have fun, I have patience with them, I don't get too angry too quickly and I enjoy my surroundings, no matter what they are. Moreover, I have more energy so that I can actually shape and change my surroundings, which of course mean they will be better suited to me at that particular point in time.

I guess my girlfriend moving here has alot to do with that tranquility. Even without really being aware of it, the fact that she was so far away was tearing at me. Not at our relationship as such, but on me as a person. Not because I was doubting, but because it was difficult to adjust and be there for her when she needed me. It became like a constant pain in the side, with which I had to live. At any given time it wasn't really a problem, but over time it became exhausting.

Now that she is here, I feel like the pieces are falling back into place, that I am somehow whole again. She has been here a week now, and already my life has improved. My appartment is turning into a real home for her and me. Yesterday, we did the all-important relationship IKEA-test. That is, a whole day at IKEA without falling out, without disagreeing, without getting annoyed at eachother... My friend told me that we might as well get married now. Perhaps.

My girlfriend is definitely an important factor. But, she is not the only factor. I need to travel again. I need to change my surroundings again, just for a couple of days, just for a weekend. I haven't been to Italy, which for over two years was my regular scenery-changer since september. But somehow it seems harder to travel to Italy now. It seems a little further away from where I am in life right now. I will definitely have to make some time, sometime this spring.

But I am going to travel. Not to Italy, though. To Germany. In two weeks my grandmother is celebrating her 85th birthday, and inviting all branches of the family. I cannot wait. It will do me some real good to again see something else. Anyway, I haven't been to see the German part of my family collectively since 2004 - that is 5 years ago. And back then, I wasn't doing too well at all. Now I am.

Ah well. Life is good I guess. In any case, I have decided that I am going to take that attitude. From now on, I AM going to be positive. I AM going to look at the bright sides of life. I AM going to enjoy every moment of the ride.