Been back in Oslo since the 12th of January now. That means three weeks tomorrow. It might not seem so much, but to me it's too much. I become restless when I stay in one place for too long. I start getting bored with myself, my surroundings, well basically anything.
Last fall I didn't travel at all from when I came back from Malta in the middle of november until the end of december. By the end of it I was desperate. I was stressed, people were being stressed by me, and I was certainly not a particularly happy company. Then I went away, first to Sweden and Germany, then to Trondheim. Now I am good.
Now I have been in Oslo for three weeks, and they have indeed been wonderful weeks. Not that everything always goes well, or one is always happy with everything. But I am happy. That is, I feel well. So even when things are going hayway around me, I remain calm. I am, somehow, at peace with myself.
If I am good with myself I am usually good with those around me too. I am usually able to help people, have fun, I have patience with them, I don't get too angry too quickly and I enjoy my surroundings, no matter what they are. Moreover, I have more energy so that I can actually shape and change my surroundings, which of course mean they will be better suited to me at that particular point in time.
I guess my girlfriend moving here has alot to do with that tranquility. Even without really being aware of it, the fact that she was so far away was tearing at me. Not at our relationship as such, but on me as a person. Not because I was doubting, but because it was difficult to adjust and be there for her when she needed me. It became like a constant pain in the side, with which I had to live. At any given time it wasn't really a problem, but over time it became exhausting.
Now that she is here, I feel like the pieces are falling back into place, that I am somehow whole again. She has been here a week now, and already my life has improved. My appartment is turning into a real home for her and me. Yesterday, we did the all-important relationship IKEA-test. That is, a whole day at IKEA without falling out, without disagreeing, without getting annoyed at eachother... My friend told me that we might as well get married now. Perhaps.
My girlfriend is definitely an important factor. But, she is not the only factor. I need to travel again. I need to change my surroundings again, just for a couple of days, just for a weekend. I haven't been to Italy, which for over two years was my regular scenery-changer since september. But somehow it seems harder to travel to Italy now. It seems a little further away from where I am in life right now. I will definitely have to make some time, sometime this spring.
But I am going to travel. Not to Italy, though. To Germany. In two weeks my grandmother is celebrating her 85th birthday, and inviting all branches of the family. I cannot wait. It will do me some real good to again see something else. Anyway, I haven't been to see the German part of my family collectively since 2004 - that is 5 years ago. And back then, I wasn't doing too well at all. Now I am.
Ah well. Life is good I guess. In any case, I have decided that I am going to take that attitude. From now on, I AM going to be positive. I AM going to look at the bright sides of life. I AM going to enjoy every moment of the ride.
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