Smile

It is certainly the right moment for that now, as any other moment.

Qualifications?

Funny business learning...

Basically the whole concept of learning presumes that you don't know what you're doing when you start doing it. If you did you wouldn't be learning.

I am doing these things, such as setting sales goals for products, which basically I don't know how to do. Yeah, I could do it if I had some statistics based on past performance, or if I had insight into resources and work required. But basically I don't.

Good riddance! Tak care! Good luck! Have a guess!

So does that make me outright incompetent to do my job? I guess that's where you balance learning. Unqualified in the sense that you don't know the answer to what you're doing. But competent to aquire those skills, to learn what's required - to learn what you're looking for.

The funny thing is that only time will tell you whether you actually had the competencies to learn while you were running. I mean, sometimes you learn after - but then you have most probably failed. You must learn while out there playing. If not - Game Over.

On more random note I will turn 27 in around 3 1/2 weeks. Wow. 27.... Smells like recycled old person really. But age is only in our heads. It means I have all of 73 year left until I am 100. Cool :-)

Tough

Sometimes you come home and you would rather take a seat inside of the closet, close it, and enjoy the confined dark and smelly space than continue the day.

Today I was feeling abit like this. Some days, or perhaps, in some circumstances... Continously unable to communicate what you actually mean must be one of the most frustrating feelings that I go through. Supposedly I am verbally strong, but I don't think I am at all very good at expressing myself when it's crucial to be precise.

Today I felt like every time I said something, even the smallest thing, what I communicated was obviously something else. I mean, I thought I was saying one thing, but the reactions of those around me told me that I was saying something else. And the more I tried to say to get it right, the more I was saying things to get it wrong. Did every single person I talked to today get pissed off at me? I think it was pretty close - perhaps not the guy in the bikeshop...

And yet, I don't feel like I was in any bad mood or had any such intentions at any point today. Dear me, perception is everything. Reality is what others see, not what I believe.

Working continously to improve myself along certain dimensions is the toughest project I have ever started. This path, of which this blog is meant to be a sort of personal confession, is without a doubt the most difficult one I have ever walked down. What really makes it hard is that sometimes I feel like I am not learning anything. Feeling like I just slipped on some slippery step and fell back down to the start. Doesn't sound too optimistic, does it?

Knowing that the only way forward is to carry onself up by the scruff of one's own neck, that is for sure what I'll do. But right now I prefer the closet for one evening. Perhaps a shoulder to cry on? Never mind - no shoulder around. Think I scared away everyone in my life at least for one day.

What a day.

First day in office

Today our term started officially as the National Executive Board (MC) of AIESEC Norway. For the next 12 months we are responsible for everything that happens or does not happen in AIESEC Norway. It kind of dawns on you, all of a sudden, that the opportunity and challenge of a lifetime is also a responsibility of a lifetime.

Today we went through some important teambuilding processes. Less of the fluffy, bonding, huggy, touchy stuff - more of the "dry" but extremely important fabric of any relationship. Let me explain with an analogy.

If you have ever been in a relationship with a person you truly love you know that between you and your beloved there is a special understanding of eachother in deep and meaningful ways. You would trust the person with your heart and soul - and often, in fragile moments, you do. It's quite simply special. But that doesn't make cleaning the toilet bowl special, even if it's your beloved who you are sharing it with. It doesn't make dirty laundry a lovefilled afair of roses and "personal connection".

How is doing the laundry this week? Which side of the bed is MY side? Why do you leave plates in the livingroom? You never cook! Stop watching tv - let's talk!

Some (or none) of this may or may not sound familiar. Now let's switch universes again. Back to the office, back to the team. You know you share depplying and beautiful passion with your teammembers. You know they are amazing people and you will do anything to support them - any time.

But who sits where in the office? When are lunches? How do we agree to disagree (decision making)? How do manage information? Which phone extension is yours? How much powers does the boss have? How are holidays allocated? Flexible working hours versus fixed working hours? When are meetings? When are breaks during meetings? What is allowed to do during breaks during meetings?

You get the picture. Yeah, it's not inspirational. Yeah, it seems like a bloody bore. It's not. It's some of the most important decisions you ever make in any relationship. It's the support that makes dreaming big, collaborating and working together seemlessly towards big goals possible!

Switch again: I looooooooooooooooooooooooove you, sweet dariling baby baby..................... - BUT CAN'T YOU TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF BEFORE YOU ENTER THE LIVING ROOM?

Switch back: Exchange, growth, leadership. Results, accountability and vision......... BUT CAN YOU STOP SINGING OUT LOUD WHILE I AM WORKING?

:-)

It's quite funny, no? Agree or disagree - that's not the point. Set the rules. Agree on a set of behaviours and processes. And the tough decisions become easy. Don't - and the easiest decisions become principal arguments with no end in sight.

Anyway: Our first day was more of this. Sometimes we were laughing. Sometimes people were pulling funny faces. And sometimes we were discussing hypothetical things that might or might not suspend a part of an unused rules in cases where hell freezes over.

But we got there. And it feels good. Random point. Hardest "discussion" of the day was where to sit in the office. I don't really mind these things so much in general - except that I am 1.93 meters tall and due to this have LOOOONG legs. As anyone with long legs will tell you, airplanes, cinemas, busses, trains......and offices without enough legroom is HELL! It would basically be like a regular height person sitting on a childrens chair and table (you know those from kindergarden?). Yeah - it might be physically possible. Yes - it makes alot of sense to distribute "fairly". But when you have your legs (and let's face it - I'm not about to cut them off!!) this is an absolute point of non-flexibility. My legs are not flexible! So suddenly I was faced with a compromise where I was sitting in a place in the office with no leg-room for between 4-6 months. Yeah, it was fair. But.... God! I was SCARED! I was already imagining every minute of it.... Throw me onto the deep - challenge me any way you want - but lack of legroom?

Now you have crossed the line mister! :-)

I escaped - thank God. Hopefully I wasn't seeming like a child and an idiot as I was coming up with suggestions...

People like me know ALL THE legroom tricks in the book

On a more simple motion. First day of the office was then marked by our Internet connection mistakenly having been shut down... not great. So for about an hour we were working on things with no connection - probably a good thing - right? :-)

Tomorrow we will go into planning. Vision building. WOW