After the change of position in late april, this was no longer the case. Having not worked within Corporate Relations before, having not worked with sales in AIESEC, time was suddenly short on learning what my new role would entail. New Vice Presidents at local level began their term on the 1st of May and rightfully expect the National Level to be ready to support them from day 1. Despite our terms beginning the 1st of July this is the reality we have to adjust to.
This meant that the month of May, which was going to be packed with studying for exams and finishing off my Bachelors thesis, all of sudden was flipped upside down.
Need to learn sales! Now!
Need to learn my new functional area! Now!
Need to start relating to the new VicePresidents! Now!
Exams? Bachelors thesis?
This was a true difficulty for me. Having previously not succeeded so well at university a few years ago, the whole degree I have done this time around has been as much about personally proving to myself that I am capable as anything else. Having worked hard for the best part of three years, arriving at the final month realising I needed to re-arrange my priorities around this at no times notice was not easy to face. At one point I even started doubting whether perhaps I simply wasn't the kind of person able to complete something. Whether this new reality was perhaps something that I was looking for in some weird pseudo-subconcious way so that I could have an excuse when "again" I wouldn't complete my degree.
The mind is a powerful thing, especially when it is trying to convince itself of something..
For a couple of days I was kind of like a deer on the highway. Caught in the spotlight of something arriving with great speed, I was frozen to the ground. Neither moving nor taking any decisions on how to go about the situation.
I don't think I have ever felt under such pressure as I did. Expectations just seemed sky-high, from every conceivable angle. No way could I let this late change get in the way of me completing my degree. No way could I let my degree get in the way of the commitments I have made and the impact I have clearly stated I want to have.
All of a sudden I snapped out of it. For a split second, the car sverved away, the lights dimmed and I ran across the road, so to speak.
May has truly been a crazy month. Most days have been extremely long and tiring. I have spent time helping one of my best friends through the Algebra of economics, while myself getting ready for the last exam and writing my paper. I can truly say that I am proud of myself. I know that might not be so important to anybody else, but hey, that's the way we humans are - right?
The need for feeling like we are accomplishing something is quite huge. So in the end I did it. I have had transition in my new functional area. I have done my exam. I have handed in my Bachelors thesis and I have started working with the new Vice-Presidents.
And summer has come.
All of a sudden I woke up this morning and I realised. All this pressure has really clogged up my vision. At one point I wasn't even able to see past the weekend. Now, as if transformed I see clearly again.
In 10 days we start. The experience I have been dreaming of for more than 7 months now starts in just over a week. I cannot wait. And for the first time in years I have a clear path ahead. I do not have ten other commitments. I am done with my studies (although I might sign up to some classes next year anyway). I no longer am occupied in my part-time job.
Only one mission. To turn AIESEC Norway great. Thank goodness we have an amazing team as well. During all this melee we also selected a new Vice President Talent Management, my old position. Got to speak to her last night, quite briefly, and she made a great first impression on me. Naturally she too is from Romania! What a great AIESEC country that is. So in honour of them I am posting their video. She too could have a part in it now! :-)
I really can't wait to start. Wow! We are here now. To paraphrase my great quotemaster Yogi Berra.
The future is brighter than what it used to be.
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