Tough

Sometimes you come home and you would rather take a seat inside of the closet, close it, and enjoy the confined dark and smelly space than continue the day.

Today I was feeling abit like this. Some days, or perhaps, in some circumstances... Continously unable to communicate what you actually mean must be one of the most frustrating feelings that I go through. Supposedly I am verbally strong, but I don't think I am at all very good at expressing myself when it's crucial to be precise.

Today I felt like every time I said something, even the smallest thing, what I communicated was obviously something else. I mean, I thought I was saying one thing, but the reactions of those around me told me that I was saying something else. And the more I tried to say to get it right, the more I was saying things to get it wrong. Did every single person I talked to today get pissed off at me? I think it was pretty close - perhaps not the guy in the bikeshop...

And yet, I don't feel like I was in any bad mood or had any such intentions at any point today. Dear me, perception is everything. Reality is what others see, not what I believe.

Working continously to improve myself along certain dimensions is the toughest project I have ever started. This path, of which this blog is meant to be a sort of personal confession, is without a doubt the most difficult one I have ever walked down. What really makes it hard is that sometimes I feel like I am not learning anything. Feeling like I just slipped on some slippery step and fell back down to the start. Doesn't sound too optimistic, does it?

Knowing that the only way forward is to carry onself up by the scruff of one's own neck, that is for sure what I'll do. But right now I prefer the closet for one evening. Perhaps a shoulder to cry on? Never mind - no shoulder around. Think I scared away everyone in my life at least for one day.

What a day.

First day in office

Today our term started officially as the National Executive Board (MC) of AIESEC Norway. For the next 12 months we are responsible for everything that happens or does not happen in AIESEC Norway. It kind of dawns on you, all of a sudden, that the opportunity and challenge of a lifetime is also a responsibility of a lifetime.

Today we went through some important teambuilding processes. Less of the fluffy, bonding, huggy, touchy stuff - more of the "dry" but extremely important fabric of any relationship. Let me explain with an analogy.

If you have ever been in a relationship with a person you truly love you know that between you and your beloved there is a special understanding of eachother in deep and meaningful ways. You would trust the person with your heart and soul - and often, in fragile moments, you do. It's quite simply special. But that doesn't make cleaning the toilet bowl special, even if it's your beloved who you are sharing it with. It doesn't make dirty laundry a lovefilled afair of roses and "personal connection".

How is doing the laundry this week? Which side of the bed is MY side? Why do you leave plates in the livingroom? You never cook! Stop watching tv - let's talk!

Some (or none) of this may or may not sound familiar. Now let's switch universes again. Back to the office, back to the team. You know you share depplying and beautiful passion with your teammembers. You know they are amazing people and you will do anything to support them - any time.

But who sits where in the office? When are lunches? How do we agree to disagree (decision making)? How do manage information? Which phone extension is yours? How much powers does the boss have? How are holidays allocated? Flexible working hours versus fixed working hours? When are meetings? When are breaks during meetings? What is allowed to do during breaks during meetings?

You get the picture. Yeah, it's not inspirational. Yeah, it seems like a bloody bore. It's not. It's some of the most important decisions you ever make in any relationship. It's the support that makes dreaming big, collaborating and working together seemlessly towards big goals possible!

Switch again: I looooooooooooooooooooooooove you, sweet dariling baby baby..................... - BUT CAN'T YOU TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF BEFORE YOU ENTER THE LIVING ROOM?

Switch back: Exchange, growth, leadership. Results, accountability and vision......... BUT CAN YOU STOP SINGING OUT LOUD WHILE I AM WORKING?

:-)

It's quite funny, no? Agree or disagree - that's not the point. Set the rules. Agree on a set of behaviours and processes. And the tough decisions become easy. Don't - and the easiest decisions become principal arguments with no end in sight.

Anyway: Our first day was more of this. Sometimes we were laughing. Sometimes people were pulling funny faces. And sometimes we were discussing hypothetical things that might or might not suspend a part of an unused rules in cases where hell freezes over.

But we got there. And it feels good. Random point. Hardest "discussion" of the day was where to sit in the office. I don't really mind these things so much in general - except that I am 1.93 meters tall and due to this have LOOOONG legs. As anyone with long legs will tell you, airplanes, cinemas, busses, trains......and offices without enough legroom is HELL! It would basically be like a regular height person sitting on a childrens chair and table (you know those from kindergarden?). Yeah - it might be physically possible. Yes - it makes alot of sense to distribute "fairly". But when you have your legs (and let's face it - I'm not about to cut them off!!) this is an absolute point of non-flexibility. My legs are not flexible! So suddenly I was faced with a compromise where I was sitting in a place in the office with no leg-room for between 4-6 months. Yeah, it was fair. But.... God! I was SCARED! I was already imagining every minute of it.... Throw me onto the deep - challenge me any way you want - but lack of legroom?

Now you have crossed the line mister! :-)

I escaped - thank God. Hopefully I wasn't seeming like a child and an idiot as I was coming up with suggestions...

People like me know ALL THE legroom tricks in the book

On a more simple motion. First day of the office was then marked by our Internet connection mistakenly having been shut down... not great. So for about an hour we were working on things with no connection - probably a good thing - right? :-)

Tomorrow we will go into planning. Vision building. WOW

Desperate for a drink?

Living in Norway one is sometimes surprised by the lengths to which people will go to have a drink. This video made me laugh and think of crazy Norwegians.

Leadership in politics

I am not a big fan of politicans, and I guess I don't distinguish myself too much there. I truly believe that the difference politicians choices make are quite limited on an individual scale (bare with me - I am not talking about dictatorships here). Only the individual has the ability to create happiness for himself, whatever that means. Therefore I see politicans as facilitators of this.

Make sure you don't mess things up too much. Make sure people have the freedom and possibility to change their own destiny without the possibility of reducing their fellow mans space of freedom. Ensure freedom and justice, and trust the individuals.

However, in what direction the individual chooses to take himself to pursue happiness is subject to surroundings. And that is where true leadership comes into play.

Bold moves, bold statements. Inspiration. Showing direction. This speech by Barrack Obama struck me as particularly appropriate.

(move to 13 minutes)

Defining leadership is not easy in my opinion. Defining management is quite alot easier.

Management in some way or form refers to managing resources in my book. That may be human or other resources. Effectively and conciously managing these resources to produce the desired results is hard, of course.

Leadership on the other hand has primarily to do with direction. You lead somewhere. Also, it most definitely has to do with people - you lead people. These to aspects mean that there are essentially two things any leader must posess. First of all the ability to clearly see a vision and stake out the direction to get there. Secondly the ability to get people sharing that vision and willingly moving in that direction.

Once you know where you want to go, and people want to follow you, you can start working. That's where the management part comes into play. There is no use talking of great visions and inspiring people if you are not enabling action towards that goal. However, management requires a hands-on approach. You can only manage what is around you, available to you. Therefore, the more people you are leading, the less of a percentage of them you can manage. You manage your direct surroundings, who then manage theirs etc. But the leadership has to transcend these immediate limits for there to be any effect!

What impresses me about Obama is his relentless ability to clearly stake out a direction and a path in which he leads. He also has the ability to make people want to move in that direction. Leading a country means he has to get people seeing his vision. He has to communicate that constantly and enable people to want to move in that direction.

What is harder is the management. When will we know whether this management actually moves the resources and this huge country towards this direction? I think it can take years before any sort of sobereyed appraisal of that can be made.

Learning: fast mode

The last couple of days have been really full of input. Learning about the current reality of functional subsystems really gave an excellent overview of the whole organizations.

What really amazes me is how unaware I can still be about my own behaviour sometimes. Today I was asked by someone whether I was unhappy at what was being delivered and whether I espected more. That coulnd't be further from the truth! I feel like I have learnt so much, and really starting to connect some dots in my head.

I also found it extremely inspiring to see all the challenges that the old national board had faced, and how they had chosen to face them. Real leadership includes som real tough decisions, and they faced some of the toughest. Real leadership also includes setting goals that are above and beyond oneself, which have a common purpose, and they surely did that. What inspired me the most though was that having faced some really tough times, and not succeeding within certain areas they were not giving up, even now, with only 1 week left of their term.

Instead, they were soberly and clearvisioned describing and sharing their experiences in detail, giving input on what they believe they could have done, but also accepting that they had not found all the magic keys. For me, this honesty is leadership. It scares and challenges, but it also empowers and inspires me.

And then I realize that my own body language, and perhaps comments, when faced with this input and my mind working at 200% all day long - analyzing and hypothesizing, I am giving the impression that I am unhappy and aloof. No. Not the case. However, the truth is in the eye of the beholder. And if that is the message I am sending, then it is true because its effects are real. Wow. Learning, learning AND more learning.

On an entirely different note, today was a real summer day for Norwegian standards. This can only make you happy! Blue skyes, warm, no wind, and generally the whole world preparing for vacation. It's also quite sad though, that as vacation approaches for the world, all I want to do is work, perform, challenge myself, drive results. Non-alignment with the outside world? Yes, perhaps...

Right now I am just waiting for an online conference call. In the beginning of August all the national boards of AIESEC in the Nordic Countries (Denmark, Sweden, Finland, Iceland and Norway) are going to deliver the most amazing of all conferences: Scandinavian Leadership Development Seminar, or SCALDS for short. This is truly an amazing experience, and most people who have ever goine have truly loved it. It's one of those situations where the right people being together at the right time doing the right things leads to amazing results. Wow!

However, preparing for this the countries speak to make an amazing agenda, which truly empowers and develops the leaders, primarily local level Executive Boards, of AIESEC in the Nordic countries. 5 countries, different realities, different expectations, and online meetings. Difficult to say the least - but extremely rewarding and challenging in the end. We are 1 agenda responsible from each country, with the person from Denmark actually the final responsible.

This is also what AIESEC is all about. Put people in a room together from all over the world. While I am a Norwegian representing Norway, AIESEC Sweden is being represented by a Colombian, AIESEC Denmark by an Indian, AIESEC Finland by a Finnish and AIESEC Iceland by a Dane. So we have a team of 5, coming from 5 different countries, representing 5 countries, in total 7 different countries (!) and 3 continents (!).

I love AIESEC.

And we are working together to deliver this amazing conference. The challenges in communication, expectation setting, culture, understanding, ways of working etc. is something that might be frustrating but is viewed simply as another challenge to be overcome. If the world worked like this, then I guess AIESEC could take a vacation as well. Hard day at the office? Be happy!

Becoming the MC of AIESEC Norway

This week we started. On Tuesday and Wednesday the whole team arrived and all of a sudden we were flying.

First we were detached from civilization for a couple of days, getting to know eachother as a team. We then spent the best part of a day aligning our understanding and ideas within the organization to our year ahead. We have been sorting out logistical needs and settling some practicalities. We have started defining and building our own team values.

For me it's been a great week. I think I had really high expectations beforehand, and high expectations can be quite unhelpful. Rather than disappoint me, they were exceeded, however. The honesty and sincerity with which we are communicating is impressing me. The extent to which we are aligned as a team is extraordinary.

This doesn't mean that challenges, even within the team, won't appear. We all know that within human relations this is always the case. However, for me personally, this is looking to be the amazing team experience I have been seeking. I really feel like a small part of something larger and more rewarding and I appreciate this alot. I am also starting to see what my role in this team should be and how I need to behave to live up to that.

What has impressed me the most with my new team is the complete lack of fear. Failure is not something that scares anyone or the team as a whole. This makes me think of one of life's greatest failures: Michael Jordan

Personal Development Quarter 3, 2009

Today I finally got a complete 360 competency assessment profile. I will post the link again to my profile, simply so I make sure I keep myself accountable

http://www.netbiog.com/OutputWindows/Generic.aspx?SiteUserUID=9296

Based on this I have decided the areas of focus for the next 3 months.

1) Awareness of Others

2) Resilience

3) Stakeholder Focus

The plan consists of a daily, a weekly and a quarterly follow up.

This plan consists of 23 yes/no questions. It should be filled out close to every day at the end of the day. Every week I will review the results and try to evaluate my progress. Towards the end of the quarter I will again review this.

Awareness of Others: (8 questions)

Conversations and discussions:

• Was I able to understand what the person I was talking to wanted?
• Did I take time to understand their aims and goals?
• Did I pay attention to the tone of voice and body language of people I was talking to?
• Did I understand what they were trying to communicate?

Meeting people during the day

• Did I take time to try to figure out how the person was doing today?
• Did I carefully consider their bodylanguage before starting to talk to them?
• Did I approach people caring for them first, or with my own concerns first?
• Did I adjust my behaviour according to how I perceived the other person?

Resilience: (6 questions)

Personal work situations

• Was I able to remain clam when put under stress with several tasks?
• Was I quickly able to change my priorities when new issues with short deadlines arriving at my desk?
• Was I able to actively use personal management tools when faced with many tasks?

Interacting with others

• Did I behave well with other people when put under stress in difficult circumstances?
• Did I let others suffer when I was stressed?
• Did I continue working in a positive manner when things were tough?

Stakeholder Focus: (9 questions)

Conversations and discussions:

• Was I actively listening to the other person or preparing my own response while they were talking?
• Did I ensure everyone’s concerns were addressed?
• Did I put people down and dominate discussions?
• Did I actively encourage others to contribute?
• Was I able to let go of my preconceptions when others were sharing their opinion?

Stakeholder relationships

• Did I ensure mutually beneficial relationsships
• Was I able to summarise and understand others viewpoints?
• In which way did I actively cooperate with partners and external stakeholders?
• Did I follow up on my commitments made to customers and stakeholders?

I see these 3 areas as very important in order to succeed in my new role the next few months. Also I am looking forward to trying to challenge myself within these.