Running for MCP of AIESEC Norway 2010/11

Now I can announce it, to myself and to the world. Yesterday evening, I sent the application from an Internet Cafe in Lamu, Kenya - which thankfully:

1. actually was open
2. had Internet
3. had a computer working
4. had electricity
5. had opening for my pendrive

Choices:

How we make our choices has always interested me, and the last two days I was brutally exposed to my own decisionmaking. Sometimes choices are easy, but sometimes they are the hardest thing in the world. Running for MCP has been one of those choices for me. I knew all along I wanted the experience, but at the same time I was doubting about so many things.

In the morning of Christmas day, 25th of December, I was walking around in Mombasa with my girlfriend. All of a sudden I decided - "No. I am not applying". The decision felt certain, and at that moment right. I found an Internet cafe and sent a short email to my amazing MCP, who always supports me in everything I do, as I had promised him I would tell him when I (finally) decided.

Good. Done. Finito. Bravo!

No. You know the feeling of knowing a choice was wrong after only you had made it? Only a few minutes after stepping out of the Internet Cafe my mind was doubting. And an hour later I felt like I had just made the stupidest mistake of my whole life. NOOOOOOO! Of course I want to apply. It's the most amazing opportunity I will probably EVER have, and it's working for a cause I believe in with my whole heart - AIESEC Norway! What could be better?

But I had "made my decision". That night, I felt like crap. I ended up staying up, changing my whole application, living it, feeling it, imagining it - seeing the year as MCP of AIESEC Norway in my head. And I was loving it. Every minute of it.

So yesterday, on the bus to Lamu (if you ever get the "chance" to take the bus from Mombasa to Lamu, think carefully about how much you enjoy a "bumby ride" before you book - but Lamu is amazing!) I was thinking the whole day. For 8 hours during that transport it became clear to me.

I sent the application last night, and it all feels so right. I am calm (and hellish nervous!) and proud of myself. And I laugh at decisionmaking in generally and this process for me. Months of agonizing, pro's and con's, advice and non-advice (Mum!!!) and simply no decision.

Only when i had decided against did I know I should decide for. And where will the path take me? Well, first of all to Achieve in a couple of weeks time!

Now: Do you want an Exchange Revolution in AIESEC Norway?

Structure, people and focus

I am sorry. Let me rephrase that: Focus, People and Structure.

Focus: Exchange. More Exchange and better Exchange. Passion and fun of Exchange.

[yes, by doing this we develop loads of other exciting things, and by creating structured leadership experiences around the exchange we foster that as well. But there is no management without operations.]

People: If you want to be in AIESEC - do AIESEC.

[That means working your ass off every single day to make Exchange happen. Every single action should be related to this. If you think AIESEC is too much work, if you think that doing this is not too much fun or two rewarding, if you think that exams and other stuff is more important - or simply AIESEC is not for you - hey - that's fair enough. But please, leave this organization. Now. There are no excuses for why you, who are in AIESEC, cannot prioritize AIESEC. That is a choice that all those outside AIESEC make. How much work is alot of work? Every morning when you come to school, you should come to the AIESEC office and work. And during the day, between your studies you should work. And after your day, you should work. How much? If you cannot dedicate 2-3 hours per day for AIESEC (that means 15-20 hours a week) then, hey, I guess it's not for you.]

Structure: Design it around the operational actions of Exchange - not the strategic areas of "an organization"

[Talent Management, Communications, Finance are support teams to let the organization do Exchange. If necessary, reduce these teams to only a VP and let the teams that are recruiting. Get rid of ICX teams and turn them into DT Incoming raising teams (Incoming Exchange Non-Corporate: ICX NC). Make CR teams match and service their own TNs]

Now is the time. Not soon, not tomorrow, not "after we have seen abit". And definitely not "next quarter". All organizations and companies dream of next quarter as some sort of holy land of salvation, profitability and calm. Forget about it. Now is the only time that matters.

If not?

Last one out of the office, please turn off the lights.

What is leadership?

If you were ever looking for a 23 minute fun, exciting and engaging leadership training - look no further.

This TED talk ranks among the best I have seen:

Next Step in AIESEC

So, as many other VPs on different levels in AIESEC right now, and as many other VPs before us I am having a look at job upstairs.

You know. The VP without the V. The P. I am considering applying for MCP 2010/11 of AIESEC Norway

I have less than 1,5 months to decide on the following questions, among others.

1. How badly do I want it?

2. Is it the right development opportunity for me, now?

3. Do I have the capacity, energy and competency to lead this country?

4. Am I the right person at the right time for AIESEC Norway?

5. Are my strategies the right ones to achieve the right impact?

I need some decision making criterias, for Heaven's sake. Some criterias. Have any inputs? Email me - I'd be happy to listen.

The right people

Learning is a process that never ends, but sometimes you get your learning in huuuuuuuuge chunks.

The right people at the right place in an organization is an obvious platitude, which any half-awake individual will tell you. However, I believe that in a voluntary organization like AIESEC this becomes even clearer than in a regular company.

A volunteer organization only "pays" it's members through the experiences these members have. This experience is directly related to the work they do. Hence if you don't have the right person for the right work, there will be no "pay" for that person, which means the organization will not perform and the experience will not be relevant for the members. Quite obvious.

What does this mean? Selection, selection, selection.

There is no place where the selection process is more important than here. In other places you can, at least in theory, look at aspects such as qualifications as highly relevant even though some other criteria are not perfectly aligned. In AIESEC this is not so. It does not matter how "good" people are, how "qualified" they are, what "experience" they have - if they are not the right person for the work.

This simply means the person needs to be 200% motivated by the work they are doing in the organization, because that is the only thing they get out of it.

What is often happening in NGO's is that selection is considered less important, as the idea that the "voluntary" part makes most "good people" good for the organization. No way. Only the best are good enough, because everyone else will do nothing (by definition) and you will fail.

Selection Criteria made easy?

1. Motivation (Working for the NGO should be one of the top priorities in the life of the person [even important things such as work, school etc.])

2. Motivation over time (They need to want to start at high pace, work alot, and want to do it for some years)

Sound crazy? Through this, surely you are excluding alot of good people who simply see other things as just as important or more important. Right. That's the point. An NGO where the experience is the most important factor, cannot survive this.

This means the positioning among potential members has to be very strong, so that the very, very few people who fall into this bracket actually understand the organization and are attracted by this "craziness". In cases where this positioning is not yet strong enough, such as AIESEC Norway, this means alot. In order to actually achieve this quality the selection process would cut away at least 70-80% of applicants, because with the weak positioning, this attitude will not be reflected in applicants.

More difficult still, 50-70% of the organizations current members are probably also not within this bracket, and hence ongoing deselection of these members is crucial in order for the organization not to rot within.

How to get this right from the start?

The leadership team (even if only 1 person) needs to see the organization like this, and set this standard - from themselves and all the way down. All in the leadership team need to prioritize like this, if not the idea is only a pipe dream.

What learning though, in AIESEC Norway.

When I start my own first company, at the beginning, I will struggle so much to find just 1 or 2 other people who will dedicate to the company as required by me. If you are one of them, and I know you, I will probably call you. If not, you wouldn't want to anyways!

:-)

Process versus Outcome

Does the end justify the means?

Does the outcome matter more than the process?

What do our Measures measure?

What's the difference between being flexible and not standing up for what you believe in?

How to sleep at night when your principles are shattered during the day?

Where does passion go when the people inside hide?

Who wins as a team even when they lose?

And who dies as an individual even when they win?

How effective is worrying?

How worrying is that effectiveness is at the top of every list?

Right is Right. Wrong is Wrong. My principles form an integral part of me, including all my strengths. Without them I lose my strength. I will not let them be smashed anymore.

Speaking to my LC VPs

Today we had a National Corporate Relations meeting with the Vice Presidents at Local level. It made me think of my own Local Executive Board Experience which seems like a decade ago, but in fact was last year.

The way my current Vice Presidents are really asking the right questions, seeing the right challenges and understanding the reality of the organization impresses me. Of course I like to tell myself that I have some bearing on that, but I am not so sure. I remember my own way of thinking only a year ago, when I was considering applying for the national board and in reality there were so many things I did not understand.

Instead the VPs I speak to now really have so much more understanding, experience and overall focus than I myself had. I am impressed and it makes me think of the wonders that are AIESEC.

In my opinion at least a couple of them should consider applying for the National Board next year. Of course, there are many things that impact an individuals decision when it comes to these things. And anyway, it should come from the persons passion and want to take the learning further. I guess we will see.

PS: Today I felt winter was coming in Oslo. I don't like winter, usually, but it contributes to making summer better

Local Committee visit

The last week I have spent in Bergen on the west-coast of Norway. As part of my role on the National Board of AIESEC Norway, I also coach one of our LCs. AIESEC NHH, Norwegian School of Economics and Business Administration, is one of the founding Local Committees of AIESEC, which now spans 107 countries and more than 38,000 members.

Coaching an LC brings with it loads of challenges and also satisfactions. The idea is that you are a resource and the Executive Board must choose to use this to their best. As part of the role from the National Board I am responsible for tracking the Board and keeping them accountable to their plan and their goals.

This week has really taken a lot. The days have been 16-18 hours long and I have been delivering sessions to the EB as well as trainings to teams every day. In addition I have had individual coaching chats with all of the VPs - in addition to tightly talking with the Local Commitee President throughout.

Everything from strategic planning, to reviewing their team with them, to team management input, hosting LC meetings, trainings on AIESEC functions, sales, and actually tracking their recruitment for Exchange Participants this autumn - it has been quite a week.

I have great belief in their Executive Board. They are committed, creative and capable. It all depends on them however, whether they use that potential and release it. My dad once told me of his 1 x 1 x 1 theory, which I quite like.

The idea is that there are three factors which influence success. Each of the areas can be regarded as a number between 0 and 1, where 1 is the most and 0 is the least.

A: Talent for what you do (Talent)
B: Love for what you do (Passion)

C: Working hard at it (Work)

If one of the three is 0, then the total will be 0. It doesn't help with Talent and Passion for what you do if you don't actually Work hard. It doesn't matter if you Work hard and have the Talent if you don't have Passion for it.

I know the Executive Board here has the Talent. I I have seen passion for AIESEC in them as well. Now it's up to them.

This made me think of myself as well.. Do I have the talent, the passion and the work-rate to succeed this year? Doubt is creeping in, I feel.. On Monday we have team days of the quarter. It will be interesting to see what comes out of that. I know I need it.

Who needs an AIESECer?

Working with sales in Corporate Relations in AIESEC Norway this is the question which I constantly have to ask myself everyday. The first answer would obvously be: "Everyone"

The real answer is obviously not the same. To me there is little doubt that an AIESEC Experience is the most substantial development platform available for young people today. One of the crucial ingredients is Exchange, or for those not familiar with the idiosyncrasies of AIESEC, our International Internships. An AIESEC Experience without Exchange is like a hamburger without the meat. Sure, a hamburger consists of hamburgerbread, pickles (for those who like them), tomatoes, lettuce - sometimes cheese - or whatever else. And without all these things a slap of meat is NOT a hamburger.

So we have:

(1) International Internship ≠ AIESEC Experience

However, as most of you would agree, without the meat, there is not really any hamburger at all - hence:

(2) No International Internship ≠ AIESEC Experience

You need it all, that is- you need the meat and the bread. In AIESEC we need Exchange (the meat) and the bread (Leadership) to make it a complete AIESEC Experience. All with pickles and onions, and flavours from around the global making our global learning environment. To me AIESEC in a formula is:

(3) (International Internship) x (Leadership) x (Global Learning) = AIESEC XP

Just like the Burger, however, if you had to settle - you'd choose the meat - right? This leads me to my title.

For this to happen people like myself, who are living the AIESEC Experience need to constantly find these internship opportunities for our members. Only by doing this are we providing AIESEC Experiences to our own network, and in a wider organizational understanding - for ourselves. That we need exchange (the Meat) to provide AIESEC XPs (the Burger) is without a doubt.

The question we are asking ourselves in sales, however, is another one. Which meat producer (companies) believes that by providing the raw material for the meat, will they get a great burger? And which meat producer needs a great burger (ie. an AIESECer on an Internship).

The answer is quite obvious. Nobody, if ANYBODY - needs a burger. A burger is something you usually permit yourself because you want it. It simply tastes great, and even though you know it's a bit expensive - even though you know it's not always the healthiest choice - you want a burger.

Who needs an AIESECer is the wrong question to be asking. Nobody needs an AIESECer, really. People get by eating rice, potatoes, pasta. People eat sandwiches and fishballs. But between all these meals, every now and then - people want a Burger. What we should be asking us is "Who wants a Burger" - ie. "Who wants an AIESECer", rather than who needs it.

And for all those AIESECers out there. The meat and the pickles are really important. Keep making sure we have them. But let's get our meat in order. Let's get students and graduates who want an Exchange Experience. And let's find those companies that want the Burger.

Exchange Explosion

Let's do it!

In AIESEC we measure our impact through the number of life-changing AIESEC Experiences we can provide. This is done mainly by looking at the number of Leadership Experiences and International Internships we provide to AIESECers all around the world.

For AIESEC Norway we believe the potential in impacting Norway by activating leadership in Norwegian Youth is huge! By going on one of AIESECs internships young people can explore and develop their leadership potential, gain valuable experience and live and work in a whole new culture.

In a few weeks we will now how much we are impacting. How many Exchange Participants can we recruit and send out this autumn?

Friday afternoon

I know that somewhere inside myself there is a real self-destructive part of me. Probably everyone has this to a certain degree, and I don't necessarily think I have more of it. It happens that shit ain't cool. Basically what happens is that I put myself into a small spiral of despair (only for around 20-30 mins) where I argue against most things to myself.

If by now you are thinking "what a fucked up auto-biographic psychoanalysis" don't worry by the way, that's not what this post is about.

Anyway, when this happens what I become aware of is the effects I can have on people, first and foremost on myself. If leadership first and foremost is about leading yourself, then this becomes all the clearer. By leaving the rudder for only a minute (30 mins) in reality you are risking to go off course, and if you're map and compass aren't well equipped you might stay off course for a while!

So how to avoid this? First of all, accept that you cannot always lead yourself to some fairyland. I believe it's true. It's only that those moments that you can take leadership to a basic level. Lead yourself to shut up. Lead yourself to bed. Lead yourself to have a drink. Lead yourself to watch the television for 30 minutes while you look for your internal GPS.

The crazy thing is that these 20-30 minutes is were you basically mess up quite a few things. Leading yourself, others are proud to be led by you. Stop, only for a moment, and find a mutiny on board. Nobody wants to listen to this direction less idiot. And after 20 minutes you might find the mutiny hasn't stopped!

So today, this Friday afternoon I basically behaved like a prick to a person a hold so dear to my hear. I still haven't said sorry, but I will in about 5 minutes. Completely unnecessarily so, but I guess I lacked the ability to lead myself somewhere clever then. I guess that's the real trick. Spotting those moments. Moments of strength - and moments of weakness. Our skills and abilities aren't permanently fixed - they surely fluctuate. I am sure that even Ganhi wasn't ready to engage in peace talks if he needed a piss - badly!

My path has taken me 2 1/2 months into my year on the National Board. How time flies. And what an exciting path I have found for myself

Coaching Local Committees

Today I spent around 2,5 hours preparing the visit I will have to Bergen in 10 days. I am coaching one of Norway's Local Committees, NHH, this year - which is an amazing opportunity and challenge

Quite Exciting to be coaching a whole Local Committee. The idea is that by supporting the Executive Board (EB) directly towards accomplishing their plan, manage their teams and drive growth, AIESEC Norway will continue growing and reaching it's goals - creating more life changing AIESEC Experiences.

How do you support a whole EB, however? Obviously the drive has to come from the Board itself. Having been on the EB of a Local Commitee myself last year, I know full well that we pretty much wasted the possibility of getting support from our LC coach. We thorugh it was valuable - in theory. But in reality it simply never came top of our list. Of course, it being the first time in a leadership position for most of us, being overwhelmed is not so surprising. Rather than doing the important things that led to the highest possible impact, we probably spent most time beating of seemingly urgent balls that kept flying towards us.

A year later, I truly see this as one of the great missed opportunities of last year. Many of the things we later turned out learning the hard way - or perhaps not learning at all - could have been facilitated had we only chosen differently when it came to this. So with hindsight - yeah - we could have done better.

Now I am working with my LC and I am so anxious to help them see the value of prioritizing the visit and of doing the right things at the right times. In a couple of weeks I guess I will see. I am excited today. Today the President and myself put together a first draft of the agenda and I really like it. He was committed to driving the message.

Again I am amazed at the opportunities and experiences I am getting through AIESEC. As an LC coach we get complicated and advanced responsibilities which in a normal work environment would most certainly not be trusted to a junior.

So cool.

Norwegian Elections

It's the end of August and in a couple of weeks time Norway will vote in the parliamentary elections again. For those who are not Norwegian and are wondering about Norwegian System let me sum up some main points, which might be useful. For those who know - or simply don't care - scroll down!

• Norway is a constitutional monarchy: This means that while the King is the formal head of state he has mainly a formal and official role, and his leadership is non-political. The "real" government is elected
• Norway is a parliamentary democracy: This means that the government is built based on the parliament. This means that the Executive Branch and the parliamentary branch do NOT have seperate bases of legitimacy as there is only one parliamentary election.
• Norway's governments do not need a majority backing from parliament to be formed. However, they can be thrown out by a majority. In a fractured parliament, where there are not 2 clear options (ie. left-right/ socialist-conservative or whatever) governments can be formed of a minority and seek majority to pass legislation (and budget) from case to case. In fact, the majority of Norways governments the last 30 years have been minority governments (Last 4 years has had a majority)
• No single party in Norway is close to a simple majority (50%+1). This means that governments are per definition coalitions or at best weak minority governments with one party.
• The parliament in Norway cannot be dissolved. This means that "who you vote is who you get" for 4 years. For good or bad.
• Norway has only one chamber of government, that is - no upper house. Even though this chamber in theory divides into 2 for lawmatters, this is more a formal division than anything else.

Now to the blogpost

The last 4 years Norways government has been a majority government consisting of the Labour Party, the Socialist Left Party, and the farmer and non-urban supported Centre Party.

Now, let's "reveal" the poltical colours of the blogger first. I am not a huge fan of either of these parties, and people who wish to classify me usually put me somewhere in a conservative or liberal box - although my opinions sometimes confuse in that they don't fit boxes very well. That be said, I am not a huge fan of any other Norwegian parties either, and although heavily interested in poltics and how to govern a country for the better, I am not very impressed with the Norwegian Poltical landscape. More on that later.

First is first and second is later. Let's start at the beginning.

I am a huge believer in individuals ability to conquer and manage their own lives, if given the opportunity, incentive and support to do so. I do not believe external factors limit very much at all, at least within a country like Norway (that, of course, might be characterized as hypocritical coming from someone born in Oslo West, having gone to private school and had all the opportunities open to him all his life)

I am not a huge believer that government can make the huge difference between an "ok life" and a "great life". For sure, government can do alot to make life "ok", however. After that the ability to impact individuals diminishes rapidly. I do not believe in majority rule. By this I mean that I do not think that what a majority thinks is the best for them or for everyone else, necessarily is. This does not, of course, mean that I believe a minority knows better. Nobody does.

I believe, however, very strongly in democracy and in elections. But not because of the saviours that are voted in, the rascals that are thrown out, or the impact the majority voted government has on the majority of poeple. I take a book out of Toquerville and John Stuart Mill. The main purpose of democracy itself, the way I see it, is the process of democracy. Democratic elections, and more importantly, the democratic debate, is one of the most important educational tools we have in the western worlds.

We can learn several things from this debate, such as:

1. People, people's views and people's opinions are different and that's something we should cherish and embrace.

2. Understanding issues is complicated. Solutions are not easy. There are no "winning arguments". The world is complicated.

3. We learn to see the limits in the external environment and the possibilites in ourselves when we formulate complex opinions about society, causality and realize we think we can do something to change that.

For these things to happen the debate, however, needs to be on a completely different level than what is happening in Norway. In Norway the debate is about money. It's about the distribution of money, the best way to allocate money, the best way of making money, and the morality of money - whether some things can be valued or not.

Money, important as it might be, is NOT what life, and especially political life, should be about. In my view it should be about a vision for the future of our society, for the citizens, for the individual. It should be about how we create a community out of individuals, that serves the individual, but also the need for community these individuals have. This is not easy, of course.

But money?

2 billion more for roads.

4 billion more in tax relief.

2 billion less in property tax

10 billion in investing in alternative energy

etc. etc.

The day I see a Norwegian politician show stops talking about money as the primary tool but starts talking about people and society I might start getting interested. Not because I do not believe in the importance of money in our societies, but because I believe our politicians have lost all sight of their role.

I want:

- A vision for Norway that I can buy into and that I believe in

- The protection of the (positive) freedom for all individuals

- Less focus on structures in society and more focus on actors in society

Back from ScaLDS

After an intensive week of delivering ScaLDS we are back in Oslo. It feels like the experience has accelerated. The team dynamics are developing quicker, the workload is becoming ever more focused and intensive and our Local Committees have taken a huge leap forwards.

The AIESEC Norway vision for the year is underway and running. Let's make it happen:

Since we came back my activities have been bulked:

Monday: Sleeping (in fact, when I woke up tuesday morning I had spent 18 out of last 24 hours sleeping)

Tuesday: Tuesday morning monday meeting (monday was off) and getting up to date with running

Today: Coaching by Coaches Training Institute which was truly mindblowing. Rest of day: Sales

Tomorrow we were going to have our first meeting with our Board of Directors, to present our plan, strategies and current situation. Unfortunately this was postponed, meaning it probably will not take place until september. Until then we better have produced more tangible results - in my case: TN raisings!

I'm in love with my team!

Alarm, alarm, alarm!

Falling in love. Quickly loosing control. Oh, oh. All the signs are there.

Our whole team, the National Board of AIESEC Norway is currently in a nice house in Copenhagen. We are sat right now talking about robots (yeah - don't ask) while some people are writing emails and doing other random stuff on their computers. We are here in Demark to deliver ScaLDS, Scandinavian Leadership Deleveopment Seminar.

It's a Leadership Conference for all the Executive Boards at Local Level in AIESEC Scandinavia and all the National Boards of AIESEC Scandinavia are facilitating it. I came on monday morning after an 8 hour busride from Oslo. Yesterday and today we have been busy preparing the whole conference in premeeting. It has gone very well, in my opinion, considering the whole agenda of the conference is almost like a magic trick between the 5 countries, and we are a total facilitation team of 23 people.

What I have realized since I came here is that I am absolutely in love my team. My MC. The Big Bang MC. I have these amazing people that I have the privelige to work with. But it is not limited to the immense professional respect that I have for them. They are truly unbelievable individuals.

Their interests span wider and deeper than even the considerations that I make. They have understanding of people and (more unbelievable) of me in a way which I don't think even I have. I feel so at comfort with them.. I don't know. I have lost the ability to formulate myself.

Why?

Love. Absolutely in love with my team. Anyway. Enough rambling. I am even making funny sounds when I see them now. Honeymoon? Will it last? Who knows, right? Like any relationship I will take the best from it at nurture it.

Tomorrow the Conference starts. Wow. This is really it.

Smile

It is certainly the right moment for that now, as any other moment.

Qualifications?

Funny business learning...

Basically the whole concept of learning presumes that you don't know what you're doing when you start doing it. If you did you wouldn't be learning.

I am doing these things, such as setting sales goals for products, which basically I don't know how to do. Yeah, I could do it if I had some statistics based on past performance, or if I had insight into resources and work required. But basically I don't.

Good riddance! Tak care! Good luck! Have a guess!

So does that make me outright incompetent to do my job? I guess that's where you balance learning. Unqualified in the sense that you don't know the answer to what you're doing. But competent to aquire those skills, to learn what's required - to learn what you're looking for.

The funny thing is that only time will tell you whether you actually had the competencies to learn while you were running. I mean, sometimes you learn after - but then you have most probably failed. You must learn while out there playing. If not - Game Over.

On more random note I will turn 27 in around 3 1/2 weeks. Wow. 27.... Smells like recycled old person really. But age is only in our heads. It means I have all of 73 year left until I am 100. Cool :-)

Tough

Sometimes you come home and you would rather take a seat inside of the closet, close it, and enjoy the confined dark and smelly space than continue the day.

Today I was feeling abit like this. Some days, or perhaps, in some circumstances... Continously unable to communicate what you actually mean must be one of the most frustrating feelings that I go through. Supposedly I am verbally strong, but I don't think I am at all very good at expressing myself when it's crucial to be precise.

Today I felt like every time I said something, even the smallest thing, what I communicated was obviously something else. I mean, I thought I was saying one thing, but the reactions of those around me told me that I was saying something else. And the more I tried to say to get it right, the more I was saying things to get it wrong. Did every single person I talked to today get pissed off at me? I think it was pretty close - perhaps not the guy in the bikeshop...

And yet, I don't feel like I was in any bad mood or had any such intentions at any point today. Dear me, perception is everything. Reality is what others see, not what I believe.

Working continously to improve myself along certain dimensions is the toughest project I have ever started. This path, of which this blog is meant to be a sort of personal confession, is without a doubt the most difficult one I have ever walked down. What really makes it hard is that sometimes I feel like I am not learning anything. Feeling like I just slipped on some slippery step and fell back down to the start. Doesn't sound too optimistic, does it?

Knowing that the only way forward is to carry onself up by the scruff of one's own neck, that is for sure what I'll do. But right now I prefer the closet for one evening. Perhaps a shoulder to cry on? Never mind - no shoulder around. Think I scared away everyone in my life at least for one day.

What a day.

First day in office

Today our term started officially as the National Executive Board (MC) of AIESEC Norway. For the next 12 months we are responsible for everything that happens or does not happen in AIESEC Norway. It kind of dawns on you, all of a sudden, that the opportunity and challenge of a lifetime is also a responsibility of a lifetime.

Today we went through some important teambuilding processes. Less of the fluffy, bonding, huggy, touchy stuff - more of the "dry" but extremely important fabric of any relationship. Let me explain with an analogy.

If you have ever been in a relationship with a person you truly love you know that between you and your beloved there is a special understanding of eachother in deep and meaningful ways. You would trust the person with your heart and soul - and often, in fragile moments, you do. It's quite simply special. But that doesn't make cleaning the toilet bowl special, even if it's your beloved who you are sharing it with. It doesn't make dirty laundry a lovefilled afair of roses and "personal connection".

How is doing the laundry this week? Which side of the bed is MY side? Why do you leave plates in the livingroom? You never cook! Stop watching tv - let's talk!

Some (or none) of this may or may not sound familiar. Now let's switch universes again. Back to the office, back to the team. You know you share depplying and beautiful passion with your teammembers. You know they are amazing people and you will do anything to support them - any time.

But who sits where in the office? When are lunches? How do we agree to disagree (decision making)? How do manage information? Which phone extension is yours? How much powers does the boss have? How are holidays allocated? Flexible working hours versus fixed working hours? When are meetings? When are breaks during meetings? What is allowed to do during breaks during meetings?

You get the picture. Yeah, it's not inspirational. Yeah, it seems like a bloody bore. It's not. It's some of the most important decisions you ever make in any relationship. It's the support that makes dreaming big, collaborating and working together seemlessly towards big goals possible!

Switch again: I looooooooooooooooooooooooove you, sweet dariling baby baby..................... - BUT CAN'T YOU TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF BEFORE YOU ENTER THE LIVING ROOM?

Switch back: Exchange, growth, leadership. Results, accountability and vision......... BUT CAN YOU STOP SINGING OUT LOUD WHILE I AM WORKING?

:-)

It's quite funny, no? Agree or disagree - that's not the point. Set the rules. Agree on a set of behaviours and processes. And the tough decisions become easy. Don't - and the easiest decisions become principal arguments with no end in sight.

Anyway: Our first day was more of this. Sometimes we were laughing. Sometimes people were pulling funny faces. And sometimes we were discussing hypothetical things that might or might not suspend a part of an unused rules in cases where hell freezes over.

But we got there. And it feels good. Random point. Hardest "discussion" of the day was where to sit in the office. I don't really mind these things so much in general - except that I am 1.93 meters tall and due to this have LOOOONG legs. As anyone with long legs will tell you, airplanes, cinemas, busses, trains......and offices without enough legroom is HELL! It would basically be like a regular height person sitting on a childrens chair and table (you know those from kindergarden?). Yeah - it might be physically possible. Yes - it makes alot of sense to distribute "fairly". But when you have your legs (and let's face it - I'm not about to cut them off!!) this is an absolute point of non-flexibility. My legs are not flexible! So suddenly I was faced with a compromise where I was sitting in a place in the office with no leg-room for between 4-6 months. Yeah, it was fair. But.... God! I was SCARED! I was already imagining every minute of it.... Throw me onto the deep - challenge me any way you want - but lack of legroom?

Now you have crossed the line mister! :-)

I escaped - thank God. Hopefully I wasn't seeming like a child and an idiot as I was coming up with suggestions...

People like me know ALL THE legroom tricks in the book

On a more simple motion. First day of the office was then marked by our Internet connection mistakenly having been shut down... not great. So for about an hour we were working on things with no connection - probably a good thing - right? :-)

Tomorrow we will go into planning. Vision building. WOW

Desperate for a drink?

Living in Norway one is sometimes surprised by the lengths to which people will go to have a drink. This video made me laugh and think of crazy Norwegians.

Leadership in politics

I am not a big fan of politicans, and I guess I don't distinguish myself too much there. I truly believe that the difference politicians choices make are quite limited on an individual scale (bare with me - I am not talking about dictatorships here). Only the individual has the ability to create happiness for himself, whatever that means. Therefore I see politicans as facilitators of this.

Make sure you don't mess things up too much. Make sure people have the freedom and possibility to change their own destiny without the possibility of reducing their fellow mans space of freedom. Ensure freedom and justice, and trust the individuals.

However, in what direction the individual chooses to take himself to pursue happiness is subject to surroundings. And that is where true leadership comes into play.

Bold moves, bold statements. Inspiration. Showing direction. This speech by Barrack Obama struck me as particularly appropriate.

(move to 13 minutes)

Defining leadership is not easy in my opinion. Defining management is quite alot easier.

Management in some way or form refers to managing resources in my book. That may be human or other resources. Effectively and conciously managing these resources to produce the desired results is hard, of course.

Leadership on the other hand has primarily to do with direction. You lead somewhere. Also, it most definitely has to do with people - you lead people. These to aspects mean that there are essentially two things any leader must posess. First of all the ability to clearly see a vision and stake out the direction to get there. Secondly the ability to get people sharing that vision and willingly moving in that direction.

Once you know where you want to go, and people want to follow you, you can start working. That's where the management part comes into play. There is no use talking of great visions and inspiring people if you are not enabling action towards that goal. However, management requires a hands-on approach. You can only manage what is around you, available to you. Therefore, the more people you are leading, the less of a percentage of them you can manage. You manage your direct surroundings, who then manage theirs etc. But the leadership has to transcend these immediate limits for there to be any effect!

What impresses me about Obama is his relentless ability to clearly stake out a direction and a path in which he leads. He also has the ability to make people want to move in that direction. Leading a country means he has to get people seeing his vision. He has to communicate that constantly and enable people to want to move in that direction.

What is harder is the management. When will we know whether this management actually moves the resources and this huge country towards this direction? I think it can take years before any sort of sobereyed appraisal of that can be made.

Learning: fast mode

The last couple of days have been really full of input. Learning about the current reality of functional subsystems really gave an excellent overview of the whole organizations.

What really amazes me is how unaware I can still be about my own behaviour sometimes. Today I was asked by someone whether I was unhappy at what was being delivered and whether I espected more. That coulnd't be further from the truth! I feel like I have learnt so much, and really starting to connect some dots in my head.

I also found it extremely inspiring to see all the challenges that the old national board had faced, and how they had chosen to face them. Real leadership includes som real tough decisions, and they faced some of the toughest. Real leadership also includes setting goals that are above and beyond oneself, which have a common purpose, and they surely did that. What inspired me the most though was that having faced some really tough times, and not succeeding within certain areas they were not giving up, even now, with only 1 week left of their term.

Instead, they were soberly and clearvisioned describing and sharing their experiences in detail, giving input on what they believe they could have done, but also accepting that they had not found all the magic keys. For me, this honesty is leadership. It scares and challenges, but it also empowers and inspires me.

And then I realize that my own body language, and perhaps comments, when faced with this input and my mind working at 200% all day long - analyzing and hypothesizing, I am giving the impression that I am unhappy and aloof. No. Not the case. However, the truth is in the eye of the beholder. And if that is the message I am sending, then it is true because its effects are real. Wow. Learning, learning AND more learning.

On an entirely different note, today was a real summer day for Norwegian standards. This can only make you happy! Blue skyes, warm, no wind, and generally the whole world preparing for vacation. It's also quite sad though, that as vacation approaches for the world, all I want to do is work, perform, challenge myself, drive results. Non-alignment with the outside world? Yes, perhaps...

Right now I am just waiting for an online conference call. In the beginning of August all the national boards of AIESEC in the Nordic Countries (Denmark, Sweden, Finland, Iceland and Norway) are going to deliver the most amazing of all conferences: Scandinavian Leadership Development Seminar, or SCALDS for short. This is truly an amazing experience, and most people who have ever goine have truly loved it. It's one of those situations where the right people being together at the right time doing the right things leads to amazing results. Wow!

However, preparing for this the countries speak to make an amazing agenda, which truly empowers and develops the leaders, primarily local level Executive Boards, of AIESEC in the Nordic countries. 5 countries, different realities, different expectations, and online meetings. Difficult to say the least - but extremely rewarding and challenging in the end. We are 1 agenda responsible from each country, with the person from Denmark actually the final responsible.

This is also what AIESEC is all about. Put people in a room together from all over the world. While I am a Norwegian representing Norway, AIESEC Sweden is being represented by a Colombian, AIESEC Denmark by an Indian, AIESEC Finland by a Finnish and AIESEC Iceland by a Dane. So we have a team of 5, coming from 5 different countries, representing 5 countries, in total 7 different countries (!) and 3 continents (!).

I love AIESEC.

And we are working together to deliver this amazing conference. The challenges in communication, expectation setting, culture, understanding, ways of working etc. is something that might be frustrating but is viewed simply as another challenge to be overcome. If the world worked like this, then I guess AIESEC could take a vacation as well. Hard day at the office? Be happy!

Becoming the MC of AIESEC Norway

This week we started. On Tuesday and Wednesday the whole team arrived and all of a sudden we were flying.

First we were detached from civilization for a couple of days, getting to know eachother as a team. We then spent the best part of a day aligning our understanding and ideas within the organization to our year ahead. We have been sorting out logistical needs and settling some practicalities. We have started defining and building our own team values.

For me it's been a great week. I think I had really high expectations beforehand, and high expectations can be quite unhelpful. Rather than disappoint me, they were exceeded, however. The honesty and sincerity with which we are communicating is impressing me. The extent to which we are aligned as a team is extraordinary.

This doesn't mean that challenges, even within the team, won't appear. We all know that within human relations this is always the case. However, for me personally, this is looking to be the amazing team experience I have been seeking. I really feel like a small part of something larger and more rewarding and I appreciate this alot. I am also starting to see what my role in this team should be and how I need to behave to live up to that.

What has impressed me the most with my new team is the complete lack of fear. Failure is not something that scares anyone or the team as a whole. This makes me think of one of life's greatest failures: Michael Jordan

Personal Development Quarter 3, 2009

Today I finally got a complete 360 competency assessment profile. I will post the link again to my profile, simply so I make sure I keep myself accountable

http://www.netbiog.com/OutputWindows/Generic.aspx?SiteUserUID=9296

Based on this I have decided the areas of focus for the next 3 months.

1) Awareness of Others

2) Resilience

3) Stakeholder Focus

The plan consists of a daily, a weekly and a quarterly follow up.

This plan consists of 23 yes/no questions. It should be filled out close to every day at the end of the day. Every week I will review the results and try to evaluate my progress. Towards the end of the quarter I will again review this.

Awareness of Others: (8 questions)

Conversations and discussions:

• Was I able to understand what the person I was talking to wanted?
• Did I take time to understand their aims and goals?
• Did I pay attention to the tone of voice and body language of people I was talking to?
• Did I understand what they were trying to communicate?

Meeting people during the day

• Did I take time to try to figure out how the person was doing today?
• Did I carefully consider their bodylanguage before starting to talk to them?
• Did I approach people caring for them first, or with my own concerns first?
• Did I adjust my behaviour according to how I perceived the other person?

Resilience: (6 questions)

Personal work situations

• Was I able to remain clam when put under stress with several tasks?
• Was I quickly able to change my priorities when new issues with short deadlines arriving at my desk?
• Was I able to actively use personal management tools when faced with many tasks?

Interacting with others

• Did I behave well with other people when put under stress in difficult circumstances?
• Did I let others suffer when I was stressed?
• Did I continue working in a positive manner when things were tough?

Stakeholder Focus: (9 questions)

Conversations and discussions:

• Was I actively listening to the other person or preparing my own response while they were talking?
• Did I ensure everyone’s concerns were addressed?
• Did I put people down and dominate discussions?
• Did I actively encourage others to contribute?
• Was I able to let go of my preconceptions when others were sharing their opinion?

Stakeholder relationships

• Did I ensure mutually beneficial relationsships
• Was I able to summarise and understand others viewpoints?
• In which way did I actively cooperate with partners and external stakeholders?
• Did I follow up on my commitments made to customers and stakeholders?

I see these 3 areas as very important in order to succeed in my new role the next few months. Also I am looking forward to trying to challenge myself within these.

Clear Vision

The last few weeks have been some of the most stressful in my life. Originally I had planned to spend the month of May to concentrate fully and entirely on my studies. Travelling away to Bucharest and to Prague for two international conferences in march and april I was already preparing to a great extent for my MC term.

After the change of position in late april, this was no longer the case. Having not worked within Corporate Relations before, having not worked with sales in AIESEC, time was suddenly short on learning what my new role would entail. New Vice Presidents at local level began their term on the 1st of May and rightfully expect the National Level to be ready to support them from day 1. Despite our terms beginning the 1st of July this is the reality we have to adjust to.

This meant that the month of May, which was going to be packed with studying for exams and finishing off my Bachelors thesis, all of sudden was flipped upside down.

Need to learn sales! Now!

Need to learn my new functional area! Now!

Need to start relating to the new VicePresidents! Now!

Exams? Bachelors thesis?

This was a true difficulty for me. Having previously not succeeded so well at university a few years ago, the whole degree I have done this time around has been as much about personally proving to myself that I am capable as anything else. Having worked hard for the best part of three years, arriving at the final month realising I needed to re-arrange my priorities around this at no times notice was not easy to face. At one point I even started doubting whether perhaps I simply wasn't the kind of person able to complete something. Whether this new reality was perhaps something that I was looking for in some weird pseudo-subconcious way so that I could have an excuse when "again" I wouldn't complete my degree.

The mind is a powerful thing, especially when it is trying to convince itself of something..

For a couple of days I was kind of like a deer on the highway. Caught in the spotlight of something arriving with great speed, I was frozen to the ground. Neither moving nor taking any decisions on how to go about the situation.

I don't think I have ever felt under such pressure as I did. Expectations just seemed sky-high, from every conceivable angle. No way could I let this late change get in the way of me completing my degree. No way could I let my degree get in the way of the commitments I have made and the impact I have clearly stated I want to have.

All of a sudden I snapped out of it. For a split second, the car sverved away, the lights dimmed and I ran across the road, so to speak.

May has truly been a crazy month. Most days have been extremely long and tiring. I have spent time helping one of my best friends through the Algebra of economics, while myself getting ready for the last exam and writing my paper. I can truly say that I am proud of myself. I know that might not be so important to anybody else, but hey, that's the way we humans are - right?

The need for feeling like we are accomplishing something is quite huge. So in the end I did it. I have had transition in my new functional area. I have done my exam. I have handed in my Bachelors thesis and I have started working with the new Vice-Presidents.

And summer has come.

All of a sudden I woke up this morning and I realised. All this pressure has really clogged up my vision. At one point I wasn't even able to see past the weekend. Now, as if transformed I see clearly again.

In 10 days we start. The experience I have been dreaming of for more than 7 months now starts in just over a week. I cannot wait. And for the first time in years I have a clear path ahead. I do not have ten other commitments. I am done with my studies (although I might sign up to some classes next year anyway). I no longer am occupied in my part-time job.

Only one mission. To turn AIESEC Norway great. Thank goodness we have an amazing team as well. During all this melee we also selected a new Vice President Talent Management, my old position. Got to speak to her last night, quite briefly, and she made a great first impression on me. Naturally she too is from Romania! What a great AIESEC country that is. So in honour of them I am posting their video. She too could have a part in it now! :-)

I really can't wait to start. Wow! We are here now. To paraphrase my great quotemaster Yogi Berra.

The future is brighter than what it used to be.

Pale blue dot

Late on saturday evening I am taking alook around youtube, as I often do. I should be in bed, but I am not. Came across this video, which I find very powerful. I have seen it before, but every time I do it gives me just that little bit of power :-)

Developing competencies? Show me the money!

So that is the purpose of personal development without any way of seeing and following that development?

AIESEC uses a leadership based competency model to measure the development of its members towards positive change agents, the objective of the organization. Like all models it only depicts a certain view of reality, but it definitely gives great input for personal development.

As a member of AIESEC I have this really cool access to a competency assessment tool developed together with our partners at Career Innovation. Basically this tool allows me to assess my own competencies based on a series of questions where I assess my own behaviour in situations. When being honest about oneself and ones own behaviour, this allows me to break down and the see the whole picture of my own competencies. In addition, the very same tool can then be used for 360* evaluation.

The very same behavioural questions are asked to those you pick out yourself (teammembers, teamleaders etc.) to assess you, and who can give you honest (it's anonymous in that at least 5 others give their input for it to work) feedback on your competencies.

This then allows me to compare my own assessment of my behaviours and competencies to those made by those working with me. This gives me an understanding of where I actually stand, where I have blind spots, known strenghts/weaknessess, hidden strengths etc.

All this is really cool, of course. Now they have added this awesome thing which gives me the chance to actually publish my results. So here it goes:

http://www.netbiog.com/OutputWindows/Generic.aspx?SiteUsedUID=9296

Basically only one of my profiles so far consists of a full 360* evaluation.

LCVPTM_Q3 is from Q3 2008

LCVPTM_Q4 is from Q4 2008

and the third is from Q2 2009 (that is very recent).  - unfortunately I have not been able to rename this one for now.

I prefer making this public as this allows me to keep accountable towards myself and my own aspirations!

Random note: Today is a beautifully sunny day in Oslo and I am inside studying for exams. Sometimes real WILLPOWER is required! :-)

New Role...

So... Here I was. Selected into the role of Vice President of Talent Management in AIESEC Norway. Things were fantastic. I felt right at home in an area I love, where I am developing alot, and where I get to strategicallly have alot of impact on the organization that I love and care for so much.

Since January I have been preparing for this role, improving my knowledge, thinking of the individuals I was going to be leading on local level. I was developing and adapting strategies, observing and trying to obtain information and input, and taking my role of inspiring for change and growth in this area.

You plan and predict, and try to make yourself comfortable. Bang. The 99,9% that falls within our pre-conceived boxes makes us comfortable. We feel like we understand the world around us. That we can turn unpredictable surroundings into a predictable and safe environment. But even if we were to be right 99,9% of the time (and we're not - we really suck at predicting and still keep going at it!) it wouldn't really matter.

What happens in the last, 0,1% is much more important. It has a much larger impact on our lives. Firstly, because it is by definition outside our realm of understanding and prediction it has larger implications than other events - we are unprepared for them. And trying to understand and know what they are doesn't help either - you can't - they are unpredictable! Secondly, because whatever we can't predicat usually has the pattern of an event with "unimaginable" magnitude. We don't assume it can happen, just because the impact seems so uncharacteristically larger.

What is the solution? Well, let's be careful in not looking for one too hard. Let go. In addition the solution is to change our mindset. I have started realizing this lately and hence I started to change my mindset about unpredictable events. I have started to think more in terms of being prepared for events that I cannot be prepared for. I do this by staying light on my feet, letting go of as many models, theories, and conclusions that I can (this isn't easy - I am intuitive and judging!). I simply try to see events more as a random combination of things, than as a chain of connected things. This is hard, and I am exagerating my ability here!

But last week I was confronted with just such as situation. In AIESEC, like in any organization, there are different roles on a leadership body, depending on the functional area. The Vice-President for Corporate Relations for our team next year was the same person that is doing the job now. What happened is that she actually found out that this position was not at all aligned to what she wanted to do with her life. Not now - not later. And finding motivation to start a whole new term doing something for which you are not motivated now, is hard. Actually, not only is it hard, we shouldn't even try.

Instead, she was brave enough to actually be proactive and say - "I cannot do this!" It takes courage to stand up and do that. Diverting for a second, I myself have spent several years at one point doing things I hated, because I could not admit to myself that I was doing something I hated. As a result I was doing poorly! Anyway. She was facing the truth about her own motivation in an open and honest way. And she had the courage to step up and say so. I am very proud of her for that.

From our teams point of view, we are a member down. A functional area, Corporate Relations, is suddenly without anybody. This area is responsible for sales in AIESEC Norway. This relates to the sales of our main product, which are internships, to companies and organizations. Through these internships AIESEC is realizing the development of its members through amazing international internship opportunities in another country, and the servicing fee from the internships is the main source of income for the organization. In this way we can actually run operations.

AIESEC is a not-for-profit NGO, and nobody, anywhere, does AIESEC for money - there simply isn't any! However, for the organization as a whole the sales of internships is crucial. There is no prizes for guessing that financial crisis means tough times for organizations like AIESEC which depend on the corporate sector as well! So as an organization we are a teammember down in the area which is providing the revenue crucially needed for short- and longterm financial sustainability.

The president of AIESEC Norway next year, called me into the office last week and basically told me this. I was surprised, shocked and sad. We had lost a teammember. He also laid down the situation that we needed to fill this position, quickly. The person, having to work with the Norwegian Corporate sector, ideally should speak Norwegian, know the market well, and have the competencies to sell AIESEC during financial crisis to companies that have plenty of other places of putting their money!

He told me that I was the profile he was looking for. There basically was nobody else in the organization in Norway, speaking Norwegian, who could take this role at short notice. I was given a few days to think about the situation.

I was shocked. I have been thinking about my new role for 5 months! 99,9%. But it's the 0,1 that counts. New reality, new proposal. I spent some days thinking.

What were the arguments against?

1. I did not have experience in the area from AIESEC and hence I was unsure (still am) of how I will actually do.

2. This inexperience might lead to people not respecting my ideas and proposals in the area as they might not regard me as competent.

3. I love "my" functional area, Talent Management, so much. This is perfectly aligned to what I want to do with my life, which includes starting my own business focused on education, value based leadership and learning.

4. This might lead to "my" Vice Presidents of Talent Management at local level getting lost - I have already started a coaching relationship with them.

What were the arguments for?

1. AIESEC Norway needs this. Talent Management or we die later. Sales, or we die now.

2. I want to take the role the team needs me to take. Part of my personal development goals for the AIESEC Norway term relate directly to learn to become an even better teamplayer, increase my flexible thinking and taking on new challenges. What better way of learning than doing?

3. I am excited by challenges. Anything that seems hard, that I don't know anything about, that perhaps I should keep my fingers of because it's not my speciality - I love it! I LOVE challenges. I want to succeed. Call it arrogance, call it confidence, call it stupidity. I want to be the best at anything I try. (Sorry!)

4. I want to be an entrepreneur: According to AIESECs competency model, I need to develop:

Resilience: Easily adjust to changes and new conditions, in order to be able to perform in diverse environments.

Taking on the area that is struggling most in AIESEC Norway, not knowing the area from beforehand and selling to business during financial crisis? Yeah, I think it ticks the box.

Innovation: Thinking out of the box and challenging conventional wisdom. Creating new solutions for current challenges or new approaches to old situations.

We need new approaches in sales in AIESEC Norway, especially enabling and empowering our local entitites to perform! Yes, ticks the box.

Commitment to Results: Knowing what results are important and focusing resources to achieve them.

Sales anyone?

Stakeholder Focus: Identify key internal and external customers; working with them to understand their requirements and concerns in order to generate value based partnerships.

Internal customers: Local Committess in AIESEC and their members. External customers: companies and NGOs interested in AIESEC. Let's focus on the stakeholders and create some parterships!

Effective Communication: Clearly conveying and receiving messages (feedback, opinions, etc.; written/verbal communication etc.) to meet the needs of all parties involved.

I will develop this through pcontacting partners and key customers throughout the year.

Flexible/analytical Thinking: Use technical knowledge and expertise effectively to analyse information and situations making effective decisions as well as being ready to change your opinion.

Vice President Talent Management --> Vice President Corporate Relations is my first step...

--------------------------------

So what is all this rubbish? Staying light on my feet, knowing where I want to go I am able to take this opportunity as a positive change for my future.

By sunday afternoon I had decided. I let my president know. I have no switched. Good luck to me,  I guess - except - I was once told that luck is for those with no talent. Is it?

Right now it is 02.18 night to friday. My life has just taken this HUGE unexpected turn. I am scared, proud, excited, and humble. And I am shouting to life: I am ready for more. Give it to me! I want to learn.

From individual to team to individual to leader

It's difficult to find time to write about one's life when it is passing by in a whirlwind. But the faster life moves the more important it becomes to hold on to those rails of steadfastness which we have created around ourselves.

Keeping in mind what is important and what is permanent. Looking up and around for what should be different and where change should lie. To find direction. Just because we are going at 100 miles per hour doesn't mean we are going in the right direction. And if it's not the right direction, then surely we are moving away from our target, right?

To quote Yogi Berra: We are lost, but we're making good time.

Within my new role, our new team had our first common objective. Deliver an amazing national conference which was going to represent a milestone and a point of change for our organization. We were going to bring the organization back to its basics, get the members enthusiastic about changing peoples live on a daily basis through exchange and leadership.

At the same time we ourselves were about to commence our journey towards building a team. What kind of team? With some experience of being part of a leadership body on one level, I was sure looking forward to starting "all over again". How confident we are, with hindsight, that given the chance to remake all of our choices, we would not make the same mistakes again?

And how blisfully we ignore our incompetence of choice and direction, our inability to predict the consequences of our actions, even after it has been made abundantly clear to us that we do not possess that sort of ability.

We this in mind (or not!) our team was going to be build right. It was going to be built from the start. We have great individuals, we see a common direction and purpose, we are dedicated and passionate and we actually like eachother!!

Yet here we were, only a few days after getting to know eachother, already unsure about eachothers roles, already probing and testing one another, and already concerned about our working together! WOW. I must say it is a truly humbling experience for me. It is actually what makes the concept of a team so exciting. It is hard. Damn hard. If it wasn't, what would be the point or the challenge?

I think we are on the right track though. I think we are starting to see the contours of a team which is ready to perform together, for one another, towards a common goal and purpose and having a great time doing so.

The conference was a great success. The changes we can see in the organization, in the attitudes, in the way people are talking are noticeable. Hey, who knows whether that has anything to do with us at all, but seeing as nobody else is going to take credit I most definitely am. In order to keep believing in the directon one is leading towards, one is absolutely dependent on telling oneself that one is getting somewhere. Sometimes that is tangible, but most of the time I guess it's not. Management is easy to measure - but leadership and the effects of it isn't.

Zip. Point. Finito.

Teambuilding over. Conference over. Members spread back to their old roles, to their old teams, to their old responsibilities. I am spread back to my local reality. And our local joys and pains.

I am probably the person pushing the hardest for delivering a hardcore, kickass transition in order to help our new leadership team "avoid all the pitfalls that we stumbled into". Off course, I know this isn't possible. Some hardships every person has to go through for themselves. But some things can be learned from others experience also - surely. If not, where would humankind be today? Surely not blogging on computers...

So irony has it, that I have to cancel on my new and old EB team when it came to EB to EB transition weekend. Everyone else went. I didn't. Bloody part-timer! Actually people in my family were turning ill and so was I, so I chose to take care of those close to me. Right choice? Probably. Hard choice for me? Definitely.

So I am leading, I am committed, but when it comes down to some execution I am unable due to some circumstances. Does that make the effort pointless? Or was my pushing for the weekend instrumental in it happening despite my non-attendance? Who knows.

Easter.

LX: L+X:

Leading by example. Leadership+Exchange. I keep writing this on my hand, I keep telling myself this, and it is the one concept which I truly and really do believe in when it comes to leadership. I must be the example for myself. Only that is leadership. Only then am I leading myself.

Yet, when does it end? Where does it start? Do you become the role or does the role become you? Are you a leader all the time? What about your personal life? What about in the toilet when you are singing to yourself? What about that morning when you can't even lead yourself out of bed? What about that bad joke you let slip, which you didn't really mean? What about not working out when you should? What about those problems with your mother? How about those clothes you are wearing? Where does it start? Where does it end?

This month I am coming to the end of my 4 month personal development plan. I have conciously tried to develop more awareness of others around me and better incoming communication skills. I believe I have succeeded, but not entirely. These are definitely not off the chart, but I am putting them in second line for now, to see whether effects there are permanent when I take away some conciousness.

This week I will make 3 important choices:

1. How can I be flexible enough to take on the role I am being asked to?

2. Which areas of personal development should I focus on next?

3. In which ways can I create a learning environment for myself that fosters this development?

Romania

Sunday a little over two weeks ago I left Norway for Romania.

I was extremely excited as I had never at all been to eastern Europe before. I went to Prague once when I was around 14 with my dad, but that doesn't really count. One of the many simple things I have understood about myself since joining AIESEC, it's that I haven't really travelled much at all. I used to think I had seen alot of the world and was a well aware of cultural differences, languages etc.

Then I realised I had never really ventured outside the "western" world, which made me realise I had been fooling myself. Sure, I have lived in the US, UK, Italy and Norway. Sure I speak Enlighs, German, French, Italian and Norwegian. Sure, I have been on week-long holidays to Egypt and Singapore.

But what am I left with? Pretty much a narrow world-view without perspective, without understanding the larger implications of a world growing at an ever faster pace. But what is happening outside my own little bubble? When am I going to get a more holistic and real understanding which corresponds closer to how people work and cultures interact?

Romania

It's a first step at least. And I was not going on holiday - I was going on a conference. Now, I am not going to claim that I somehow in a few days, where I was mostly interacting with AIESECers from different parts of the world in a hotel, I got a deeper understanding of Romania, of eastern Europe or of anything else. But, hey, it's a start, right?

Moving around Bucharest on the very first day I must admit I was surprised. Firstly, I don't think I actually realised how deep-rooted the Soviet style construction heritage was still stuck, almost 20 years after the revolution. Secondly, clearly the image I had of Romania and Romanians is fucked up by the society I live in. I was positively surprised, pretty much by everything.

What impressed me the most was young Romanian students I met. In addition to the AIESECers, who I assumed would be pretty ambitous talented and capable, I was strongly impressed by the general attitude of the young people I came across. The go get them attitude, the positive curiosity about the world around them, and the pointed questions they asked struck me as far more proactive than what I am used to from Norway.

I guess that's what happens when a society wakes up and realizes it wants to go somewhere - fast.

I liked it alot.

Quite a cool experience, though perhaps fairly simple, was Romanian money. All notes are made out of plastic, which make them more or less impossible to tear apart, and give them a very special feeling when you are holding them. I found it very, very funny.

Bucharest is a huge city. Driving around mostly by bus, and sometimes by metro, I kept getting lost, not really understanding where we were. As every other tourist, I too had to visit the houses of parliament, that crazy building (second biggest in the world apparently) built by Ceaucescu while the Romanian people were starving. I wonder how that happens. I clearly don't know enough about Romanian history to go into the details in any way, but what happened to leadership? What happened to values and actually leading according to a given set of moral parameters? How can we as a world avoid this from happening?

As I mentioned above I was in Romania for a conference, more specifically EURO XPRO, the conference for future LCPs (Local Committee Presidents) and MCVPs (National Committee vice presidents) in AIESEC in the CEE (Central and Eastern Europe) and WENA (Western Europe and North America) regions. Pretty much most of the leadership body of these two regions for the next year.

As always, AIESECers impress me. I still cannot pinpoint what it is about this organization that makes it the hub for reflected, ambitous, funloving, serious and exciting young people - but there is no doubt in my mind that it is. No other setting that I have seen or experienced is even close to this. I feel very, very privileged.

Anyway. The opening day, which was monday, had three main events.

The first was a visit to the Romanian royal family, who were chased when the Communist Revolution came after the second world war. We had the privilege og meeting Prince Radu, who spent some time speaking to us about the future generations of Romania and the world. It was a once in a lifetime experience.

The second was Global Village, which was in the centre of Bucharest with hundreds if not thousands of people visiting all of our different countrystands, traditional dances and country shouts and performances. Really awesome experience, although perhaps six hours was slightly too long. :-)

After that, quick changing and and running back and forth, the third event came along, which was the official opening ceremony that evening. Not everyone seemed to enjoy it - but I have no idea why. I really liked it. It showcased dancing and singing performances, some very inspiring speeches and last not least a real feeling of opening.

The speech I enjoyed the most was about the inherent conflict between wanting to learn today to make an impact in the future, and the impact we are doing today. The real question is whether you learn enough to even have an impact in a distant tomorrow, if you don't genuinely try to have an impact today?

The next day there was another event where AIESEC was interacting with the external world through a forum called World Cafe. It gave us the chance of discussing some world issues with bright young Romanian students. It really opened my eyes.

The rest of the conference, from Tuesday afternoon to sunday, was "AIESEC only". We went by bus to Mangalia, which is around 4,5 hours from Bucharest on the coast of the black sea. The first evening of the conference was mostly dedicated to getting to know eachother, connecting abit and finding out about everyone else. It also set the stage for the 4 days of intensive learning ahead of us from that point.

Now, I am not going to go into any dreadfully boring details about what happened on the next four days. Suffice to say it was another shock to my system. Another challenging and intesive experience which opened my eyes even further. I wonder when this feeling of continously feeling helplessly knowledgeless will eventually subside? When will I stop being surprised and excited about that wonderful world out there? I hope never.

My favourite moment of the conference was making this video with some new friends I met:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=heiIQC-eAHQ

It was absolutely awesome. We were simply given half an hour to describe the state of the world today and we decided that the world we are seeing is a beautiful one full of differences and potential, but also full of love and similarities. You be the judge :-)

I also got to know some very special people along the way. If you are reading this you know who you are. You are changing me and I love you for it.

On the sunday after it was time to go back to Norway. I have understood a few things about myself. First of all I want to get to know Romania alot better, along with the rest of eastern Europe. Secondly, the world out there is scaring me a little bit. Actually, no. Alot. What awaits me?

The only way of finding out is to keep living life to the fullest.